BlackRing

I put a gun to my head, ready to end it all.

Woke up in a hospital. No drugs involved.

I drove myself there. The gun was in the glove compartment. Apparently, I self admitted through ED.

I remember NOTHING from gun to my head to waking up in the hospital.

Not sure if that qualifies as near death, but I think I was.

I am better now. That was years ago, I came close again recently, but this time I have answers about myself and a place to start.

Lilo and Stitch!

Nope. Not normal sounding to me. Even your doctor says it's not normal if you think about it, he thinks it's early. As everyone else states, second opinion time.

Everything you listed, I get, but at a mere fraction, save for the swelling, nothing here. Beyond seeing another doctor for a second opinion, it sounds like you're physically fit, which is more troubling. I am kind of fit, and sometimes my back hurts. What makes it go away? Working out my core muscles in a regimen after a few weeks. Staying active.

I am 40 fwiw, and you sound far worse off than I feel. See another physician.

Try to take the time to care for your mental and emotional health when you need to, then, instead of stewing for years and years. I made the mistake of rolling with it, turned 35, and I'm lucky to still be here at 40.

Still struggling. Wish I'd spoken with someone years ago.

Not what they asked for. Duck tape is a brand, and is in my department. Duct tape is in plumbing which also does HVAC products, and is actual foil tape with a peel off backing, actually used for ductwork.

I work retail. People walk up to me like I'm a robot.

"Duck tape??" They just... Bark at me. I have gotten to the point that I refuse to tell them where something is until they treat me like a human being and ask a very simple question, "where's duck tape?"

As Kongar said, I agree, the new car is an suv. Which... Is by and large not great, but also what's an SUV now?

When I was a kid by parents had one of the original Nissan Pathfinders. The one with the spare wheel that swung away, definitely 4wd, and so forth. OJ Simpson ran from the cops in a white Bronco.

Those were SUVs. Today's monster Expeditions and Suburbans are SUVs.

At introduction, the Subaru Outback was a station wagon. Now... It's an SUV? I have a 2022. No, it's not small, but I have a kid and we use the trunk space and the awd all the time. Winter sucks here, and there are dirt roads. But to me it's a car. But on paper it's an SUV.

I am sure there's a real distinction, but... Next to a Tahoe or a Grand Cherokee it is absulotely not an SUV. It's a car with awd and a beefy-ish suspension.

Or walking out of the room.

No.

I am a good person with a capacity for kindness. The difference? It's not reflex.

Nice is the guy waving you through at a stop sign when it's their turn. Sure there's good intention, but seriously? No.

Guitar is the only hobby I acquired that never took. I wanted it to take, but did not have the funds to pursue lessons.

I could not get over the beginner hurdles of how to strum, how to really hold the pick, and so forth. If I could have taken lessons or gotten past that I might have learned and still be playing today instead of seeing the case just sitting there collecting dust.

Ghost Love Score by Nightwish

On the anti-bird spikes. In the one small place I put them so that a nest wouldn't be right at my door and mama bird would try to attack my toddler. Seriously, no spikes a few feet away, you'll be fine. Nope. I know it's instinct or something to nest in a certain place each time, but come on.