1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
What music do you like?
MAGA?
If you like music, and hate MAGAs, we can be good friends.
If you dont like music, and hate MAGAs, we can probably still be friends.
If you LOVE the music I love, but are MAGA, then you can fuck right off. I don't hang with Nazis, no matter what your musical tastes are.
What do you mean? An african or european swallow?
[Queue screaming]
What's the average rainfall in the Amazon basin?
What is your favorite color?
The nice thing about using that Monty Python quote is that if I don't like the answer, I can then mime throwing myself into a chasm, and thus extricate myself from the situation.
What's your favorite video game?
What's your favorite movie?
What's your favorite book?
If they say Call of Duty, Atlas Shrugged and Catcher in the Rye: They will never be my friend.
I know a few who would answer skyrim, avengers and ???. They're kinda nice but also insanely lame and boring.
Reasoning:
What brings you happiness or joy in life?
What do you do for fun?
What's one thing you'd 100% recommend to someone brand new to the world?
That’s not how you make friends.
ikr
This is an interview💀
Yeah I know not to just come out asking them these three questions. I just had the thought of what kind of questions you could ask to quickly and greatly understand the kind of person in front of you.
Actions speak louder than words. How about three questions to ask yourself?
I recently asked myself similar questions about two friends I knew for about 15 years. I thought I had been close with them, but I quickly answered No to all of them (plus a bunch of follow-ups I asked myself), and realized they were never real friends, or at least hadn’t been for a while, they were just people who were accustomed to seeing me and sometimes making plans together.
I always felt anxious after hanging out with them, never felt like they listened to or cared about anything I said, never remembered my preferences or things about my personal life from visit to visit, never believed me when I said I knew something, etc etc. It’s easy to get used to this kind of thing and to think it’s normal and healthy, but it was so exhausting and frustrating for me that I finally gave up and haven’t talked to them in over a year.
Sometimes these types of questions are super helpful in evaluating longstanding relationships as well as new ones.
But that very impulse is inimical to making friends. You make friends by being open to making friends, and by being interested in other people, regardless of whether they are 'friend material.'
You shouldn't even be assuming you know or can predict what makes someone friend material for you. One can be surprised.
Census-based friendship 😂
ASL
17, w, cali
Suddenly feeling old.
40, m, Manchester UK.
Also old, 44/f/usa
How did we get here?
What is your favorite deck
What is your favorite joker
What is your favorite spectral card
Enterprise D - I like the carpet.
Heath Ledger.
Immolate - I'm not a destroyer, but $20 is $20.
My dad, when I was a kid, used to open the door quickly, look down at my visiting friend and say "Who the hell are you?"
Then he'd shut the door abruptly, wait 3-4 seconds, then open it, laugh, and welcome them in.
If you can do that and they don't get offended, they're friend material.
Wide implementation of this technique would certainly explain why anxious/nervous people would have fewer friends.
My dad, when I was a kid, used to open the door quickly, look down at my visiting friend and say “Who the hell are you?”
Sad story time.
A friend of mine was visiting one of our mutual friends nearby in the big city while I was in the far, far outskirts. He was such a positive influence that I agreed to come visit at the same time and catch up, as he was always a great time. This excellent friend always brought a gallon of stories, his usual infectious manner, and this time he brought a surprise new girlfriend.
I did the "who the hell are you" and she got put off. It went reeeally poorly. They left for home the next day, ahead of schedule, back to America. He shut me out. Over the years he kinda shut everyone else there out, too, as far as I know, as he focused on the birth of two kids in succession and then his wife's affliction with an aggressive debilitating disease; it may have been ALS. He shut a lot of ancillary things and people out, and I get that of course, but I am disappointed that my last interaction was a bombed joke.
It's been 18 years. I finally booted him from my social media about 7-8 years ago.
Just be interested and ask them questions about their life and hobbies and see if they do the same.
It's a starting place. The rest depends on building trust and respect and common interests.
What's your favorite rock?
What is the strangest food you've ever tried?
What kind of nerd are you?
I need to know whether they like animals.
My only question is "What are the four essential freedoms of free software?". If they can list them I know they're alright
malloc?Close enough, you're cool. Here's the actual list though (wiki link):
Hehe, I was just poking fun. I love FOSS and don't disagree intellectually with this stuff, but the way it's presented is a little off-putting to me. A bit too dogmatic for me.