this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 64 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Y'all need more fiber in ya life

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My toilet paper is already practically a pillow, how many more fibers do you want?

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It has to go through you!!!

[–] FredericChopin_@feddit.uk 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Instructions unclear, i ate all the toilet paper.

Wish I hadn’t used it first.

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 4 points 1 year ago

Well at least it's recyclable.

[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we've tried yoga.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

FYI, 'have you tried yoga?' In chronic illness speak means 'can I offer you unsolicited advice with the undertones of presuming that you have not tried to the best of your abilities to cure yourself of an incurable disease that has not even come close to be fully treatable?'

Not saying that's what OP said, just saying thats how it comes off to most non-chronic illness sufferers.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Ok, but have you tried essential oils?

[–] ShakeThatYam@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also water. If you eat a bunch of fiber without water... believe it or not, also constipation.

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[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No, he needs a squatty potty. I can’t believe nobody else in these comments has mentioned them.

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fuck, I forgot what a cult following those weird things have.

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[–] Granixo 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And how do you deal with corn then? 🌽

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Wash it off and toss it in the next pot of chili!

[–] kamiheku@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Corn? I don't remember eating corn!

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[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I don't think that's going to help the lactose intolerance and potential IBS.

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (9 children)
[–] thekerker@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

That's right, show that turd who's boss!

[–] The_Worst@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

[–] squiblet@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

(since nobody seems to know, this is a scene from the Prisoner, which is what "who does #2 work for" is a reference to)

[–] thekerker@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he's giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling "WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR" while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.

[–] Aesculapius@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are correct. But what Austin Powers was referencing was this scene from The Prisoner. Top notch 60's TV!

The mvp is in the comments of the comments

[–] Seventhlevin@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I AM NOT A NUMBER. I AM A FREE MAN!

[–] foo@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

That's not my bag, baby

[–] Aesculapius@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Deep cut! I first heard of and saw that show in college. It's great!

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[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When you take your pants off mid-shit, you know it’s a life or death situation

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 15 points 1 year ago

Or when you preemptively take off your shirt.

[–] kaupas24@kbin.social 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wait a sec... Is it me or did he forget to open the lid on the toilet?

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago

That's the fighting part

[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

That's just the seat.

[–] pascal@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why we call it bathroom.

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Speak for yourself.

I call it Badezimmer but for similar reasons

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] jasondj@ttrpg.network 7 points 1 year ago

I am convinced that of all the secrets of the world that the elder generations hadn’t passed onto us…taking a fiber supplement is the biggest improvement to daily life.

[–] LukeMedia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] JuzoInui@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True. Went to a farmers market and bought a bunch cuz they were cheap. Stupid ass me decided to eat then and there. Thirty minutes later I was blowing red lights to try to reach a safe place to drop der UberDeuce. I swore that the toilet was screaming at me for a week after that

[–] LukeMedia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, bananas help solidify it. They are also mildly antacid. I'll take that over fighting for my life after enjoying a tasty hot sauce!

[–] lapommedeterre@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Can confirm. Have Crohn's.

[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago

Can confirm. Have Crohn's, and I just stopped at home in the middle of my route because I couldn't hold it anymore...

[–] squiblet@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I have celiac and all I think when people reference epic toilet struggles is “hmm, either you don’t eat any fiber or… you may have a serious health problem”

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 year ago

I once was really tired in a mall and went to the (public) toilet just to sit my ass down and hide from people.

Im in this exact position while reading this.

[–] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Because you won't eat your fresh veg.

[–] JuzoInui@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Take the corn OFF the cob next time dumbass

[–] FredericChopin_@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago

I’ve had about three number twos in my life where I’ve literally started to feel faint, sweating profusely, and expelling non-solid matter.

It could be fibre or it could be all the pain meds I was abusing, suffice to say it’s not fun.

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Oh that's exactly my position the morning after a "Hot ones" evening!

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