this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 38 comments
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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 59 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 61 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 43 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] steventhedev@lemmy.world 52 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] Lemming421@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] Mikug@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 30 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How about: "By the power of Grayskull…"?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Only if the sword will actually transform you into He-Man.

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, mine only transforms me into She-Gal. I hope the shop owners won't frown on that.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

There's already a She-Ra, ya know...

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

If you took some LSD beforehand ..... for the user they did actually transform into He-man ..... or a hippopotamus .... whatever .... they still get the sword. .... alright Man-at-arms! Let's roll!!

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 3 weeks ago

I will also accept:

"Thunder... Thunder. Thunder! ThunderCats!!! Hooooooooooooooooo!"

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] germtm_@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

demoknight tf2 moment.

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago