Futurama

Shut up and keep looking apologized to.

“Hahahaha”

Oh wait. You’re serious? Let me laugh even harder.

“HAHAHAHA”

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!

Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

You cant just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

When they're getting pulled down toward Atlanta:

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!

My only regret is that I have boneitis

My absolute favorite line is, "Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun."

That same episode also gave us the phrase, "a partially barfed-up heart," which is a phrase I can't even type here without laughing.

• I don't know what to do! Should I eat more butter?!
• This is the worst part: the calm before the battle...oh wait! I forgot about the battle!
• Some of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. Those men are the bravest of all...
• Please, gentlemen, we've all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.
• That wasn't cowardice!
• No, Scruffy, it's me, Washbucket! I love you, Scruffy! I've always loved you!
• Now open your mouth...No not that one. Your other mouth.

Old lady: Like I always say, live fast and die young Bender: You should say something else

If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".

Bender: "So people will actually pay money to find love...? I have an idea, an idea so genius...." gavel sounds "Stupid anti-pimping laws!"

"I'm having one of those things! You know? A headache with pictures"

"... An idea?"

Professor: Your tux doesn't fit because you stole it from a boy.

Bender: You mean a man. It was his Bar Mitzvah.

Wait, I'm having one of those things, you know, a headache with pictures.

Its actually from that same scene; "NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH FOR NO RAISIN!!!" I often say "for no raisin!!!" in my daily life. :)

“Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”

"If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"

You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

Shut up baby I know it

Use it with the wife often, mostly with success

"You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music'

"I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo."

The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now that is ironyyy

“We know nothing about their history, their language, or what they look like, but we can assume this: they stand for everything that we don’t stand for. And also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”

Thus global warming was solved, once and for all.
But....
Once And For All.

🎵We're whalers on the moon,

We carry a harpoon,

But there ain't no whales,

So we tell tall tales,

And sing this whalin' tune! 🎵

To shreds, you say..

Well, how's his wife holding up? To shreds, you say...

“They’re like sex except I’m having them”.

(destructive noises) Buddha, Zeus, God, one of you guys, do something! Satan, you owe me!

They say the key to any successful battle is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!

My absolute favorite: You win again, gravity!

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Thus solving the problem once and for all.

Good news! It's a suppository!

"What are those disgusting creatures?"

"Those are the Grungalungas."

"Tell them i hate them."

Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!

Don't you worry about Planet Express

Let me worry about blank.

Nibbler: It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time... and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.

fry: I did do the nasty in the past-y.

Nibbler: Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.

I was gonna go yachting in those feet!

Hey, Professor. You're a professor.

When you do things right people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Bender, depressed walks up to a bar:

"Gimmie your largest, strongest, cheapest drink"

So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?

No... just the two...

"If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kiff?"
―Zapp

"[Sigh] "Sexlexia""
―Kiff