this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
305 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

12262 readers
931 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

"We want to be sure anyone who has this pizza on hand throws it away so they don't get sick," health officials told customers.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 81 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The secret ingredient was oil, ordinary oil, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of THC.

[–] Anarchistcowboy@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

Unexpected Futurama

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 59 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

My wife worked for this guy that has since passed away. She was his sous chef at a very posh up and coming restaurant. They had fried chicken specials every so often and it was always their biggest huge hit. Like always selling out.

The secret of his success was his special herbs and spices, which included weed. He figured that nobody would get that high from a serving so he was like IDGAF.

Eddy was one of a kind. Rest in peace friend.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago

I mean.......you gotta warn people. Imagine eating chicken, not getting high, and then 3 weeks later being convinced theres a conspiracy against you because you failed a random work drug test.

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think it's Hempseed rather than weed itself, but proper Nanami/shichimi togarashi (7 spice blend, roughly translated) has Hempseed. Because of the ban on drugs and such, most exports and US versions exclude it though.

As an example, this site shows and advertises it's usage, then on the same page says:

Hemp seeds match sesame in terms of flavor and aroma. There is an old Japanese saying: "Those able to mill hemp seed are truly mature."

No hemp seeds are used in products for overseas markets.

[–] _edge@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I didn't know hempseed was illegal in the US. It's a pretty boring ingredient elsewhere.

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think it isn't illegal if it can't grow a plant, so if heated or ground. You can buy ground hempseed, and i think i have some downstairs. Still, imports and such are much trickier, which is probably why they don't use it for exports. Also other countries may have stricter imports, and perhaps the company doesn't want the headache of verifying which market to send which product to.

It's similar to how most companies just conform to Californian restrictions rather than make different products for different states in the US.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Seeds are federally legal as they contain no THC. They have been sold on the open Internet for years, even before the farm bill that got all the "intoxicating hemp" and "alternative cannabinoids" into your local head shop. Post farm bill, even growing those seeds would be legal, because hemp is legally distinct from "marijuana".

I can't speak to import/export but I know a lot about cannabis

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 58 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let's see if I understood this correctly. They use a community kitchen and helped themselves to someone elses very expensive oil, not realizing it was Delta-9 infused? Now people are getting high off their pie and they are all over the news. Dick move has unintended consequences.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm about as big a poth-ead as you can get, and this is pretty fucked up.

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I mean yea, non consenting chemical alteration of someone's mental state is a messed up thing, accidental or not. For someone not expecting it, or not used to it, you will likely think you're sick. That could be distressing. It could be dangerous if that person were, say, headed off to work (nurse, doctor, crane operator, taxi driver, office worker on commute), or had been avoiding cannabis due to family history of psychosis, or has a damaged immune system and now fears they've caught something, we also feed pizza to kids.

Most probably nothing grim will come of this, and the jokes are fine I think, but we all should understand that this is serious.

[–] BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How the hell do you explain this to a new job or your parole officer? "Someone drugged me with weed and I didn't know! I swear!"

This could mess up some people's lives

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Another argument against zero tolerance policies.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah IMO drug charges should be ones that need to be added on to other real crimes that directly affect others. Like theft or assault. And even outside of charges, why care if an otherwise good worker randomly tests positive for something?

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had a friend whose dad was in the military and got served something spiked at a party that popped up on a surprise drug test the next day. It was a huge deal (especially because this was like 40 years ago), he had to go to military court and get people that were at the party to testify for him. He was really fortunate the judge ruled in his favor.

[–] BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I can confirm the military still takes its drug tests seriously. If a soldier ate that pizza and got drug tested (military loves a surprise drug test) they could have gotten in very serious career ending levels of trouble.

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

We've got a case in Australia of a coffee shop selling something to someone that was allergic. The guy died of allergies.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Imagine losing your job because a drug test found it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

It's not DiGiorono, it's Dispensary!
-- stolen from Charlie Berens

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What if I want to get sick?

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Google "asmongold rat clock"

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Or the barbecue shower

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hope they decarbed it first.

Edit: errmm, I meant to say "Oh no!"

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Apologizes??? I'll take 3! Oh, wait, that's going to give me the munchies. Better make it 4......oh wait, that's going to give me the munchies. Better make it 5.......oh wait, that's going to give me the munchies, better make it....

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When I lived in a war-on-drugs city 15 years ago, we always used "pizza" as a code word for weed. A pie was an ounce, and a slice was an eighth. We'd call each other and ask if we wanted to eat some pizza tonight, and how much they wanted to eat. We always knew if it was actual pizza or weed based on tone of voice.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] darth_tiktaalik@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago

Forgivable if it cost $4.20

[–] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I object to the phrase.... Contaminated

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I further object to the company telling people to throw out the weed pizza. Who in their right mind would turn down free weed? Especially given that this literally never happens ever? This is a once in a lifetime miracle.

If you don't like the effects of THC, give it to your stoner neighbor. Or the homeless guy down the block. He would really appreciate a free weed pizza.

So sick and tired of seeing food waste. This article disgusts me.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Tell me they are smart enough to officially sell THC pizza now. Please!

[–] SourGumGum@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I'll just stick to gummies.

[–] BonerMan@ani.social 5 points 1 week ago

Its not contaminated! Its spiced with THC!

The only problem would be stretched weed.

load more comments
view more: next ›