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You should listen to women talk more, they're extremely enthusiastic to talk shit about each other.
I actually do agree with some of your points though, but on that point, I've rarely seen a woman reluctant to talk trash about another woman when given a chance (maybe more in he said/she said situations is what you're referring to).
I'm 30 years old, and even when I was 15 I wasn't really friends with the super mean girl gossip types. Throughout my life, I've been friends with women who largely identify as feminist and sort of reject those stereotypes.
The problem is that post #metoo it became normalized to take the whole "support women" thing to such an extreme that it enabled toxic behavior. While there were women who tried to pull the whole "it's sexist to criticize me for making poor life choices" crap, other women would get super offended for them attempting to use feminism in that way.
It's extremely frustrating that the 19 and 20 year old women I knew in college had better moral compasses than the 25 to 40 year old women I know now. That's really not supposed to be how it works.