this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 50 comments
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[–] Zink@pawb.social 135 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Imagine having to blow your instrument

this comment was made by percussion gang

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 84 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine having to bang your instrument

This comment was made by vocals gang

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine eating ass With your instrument.

-autoharp gang

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

Well played! I was expecting deep throating but you took it a step further! 👏

...just like your mom last night

[–] OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine not having an instrument to bang

This comment was made by the ~~finger~~ piano gang

[–] rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine having to finger your instrument

This comment was made by the voices in my head gang

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Imagine having to finger your instrument

This comment was made by the triangle gang

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I know this comments wasn't written by percussion gang because it isn't in crayon and it uses words.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago

I'd rather people jerk off, finger or blow their beloved instruments than kicking and beating them.

[–] Shieldtoad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

Composers be like here is a weird whistle to blow and the percussion gang has to do it.

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yeah now im thinking how you put your lips on one end and then do a reach around on the other.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 8 points 1 year ago

The rusty trombone is a classic.

[–] ZeroCool@feddit.ch 56 points 1 year ago
[–] ApfelstrudelWAKASAGI@feddit.de 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine having to finger your instrument's clitorises for it to change notes.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And that's not even touching what the French Horns are doing.

[–] winky88@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago

Twisted fister makes her moan so good.

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

With a trumpet you just change the jerking for fingering

Either way you're blowing

[–] 0p3r470r@lemm.ee 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine only having 3 buttons on your instrument. Brought to you by the woodwinds gang

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

You forgot the spit button, but yeah

[–] SauceBossSmokin@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As a trumpet player, this meme is hilarious. As a woodwind player, my wife sees this meme and says that it doesn't matter, the trombone is always too fucking loud sitting right behind her.

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't trumpets have a slide? Is this just slide envy?

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah the third valve slide.

To this day I never understood it's purpose as I'd lost the key ring to it and never used it.

My teacher said it was for getting the right tune when using the third valve yet my trumpet was always in tune even without using it.

[–] BURN@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s for tuning

Trumpets don’t need it much until you get into the top end of the range, where certain notes are out of pitch. 5th partial is particularly flat, and 7th is sharp. Using 3rd valve as a replacement for 1+2 is flat, so you use the slide to correct.

Doesn’t really matter until you get to a pretty high level, are playing in a large brass band or know your instrument well enough to know which notes tend to be a few hz off.

Weather can also be an exaggerating factor, so playing indoors won’t have the same need

[–] DickSledge@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

I'd say the use of the 1st and 3rd slides can be taught pretty early on. The low D is sharp and needs a bit of slide, and the low C sharp is even more sharp (can be off by 25 cents or more depending on the horn) and needs more slide. These are on the mid-low range of the instrument and are some of the first notes that beginners learn to play, and they sound pretty wildly sharp without a bit of adjustment. Not that you'd need to insist on it to beginners, but it wouldn't hurt to at least mention that the real fingering for a low D is 1+3 + slide.

In my experience when folks say their low Ds and C#s aren't sharp, it's usually because their main tuning slide is too far out and they're playing everything way flat, or the horn just has major tuning issues.

Weather can definitely affect tuning, but it affects it pretty much uniformly. If it's hot out the overall pitch will rise, if it's cold the pitch will drop. You just adjust your main tuning slide accordingly and continue to use your valve slides the same way.

All this is to say I think the use of the slides should be part of the fingering chart. It doesn't take much energy to learn and it makes a huge difference.

Source: I never grew out of being a band kid and play trumpet for a living.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

What's the difference? You're blowing it anyway

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

Trumpeteers are jelly because they don't have an equivalent to Trombone Champ

[–] CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don’t even want to know what the French horn players are doing to their instruments…

[–] SauceBossSmokin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I once had a friend that preferred dating French horn players. She liked the way they hold her.

[–] WagnasT@iusearchlinux.fyi 3 points 1 year ago

fingering it. We tend to be upbeat about it.

[–] skeeter_dave@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

I'm mainly a trumpet player, but I do have a horn and occasionally fill in at my community college band, fingering is apt but I would also add "gently kissing".

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Violinist: sweats in vibrato

[–] HotDogFingies@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My 12 year son plays the trumpet. He'd love this meme.

But I will not show it to him.

[–] ares35@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

his only comment, as he turns away to try to hide the embarrassment forming in his cheeks, would probably be 'thanks. i.. uh.. already saw that one'

[–] ZeroCool@feddit.ch 5 points 1 year ago

lol that's probably a wise parenting decision.

[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over my trombone because it’s the loudest instrument in the band.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why not just use an euphonium?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Because being direct about sexuality is far preferable than innuendo.

[–] 3arn0wl@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

You know what they say : Trombonists do it in 7 positions.

[–] ItzzMe@midwest.social 4 points 1 year ago

As a member of the euphonium gang, I approve of this meme

[–] DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Italian that instrument is called "trombone a tiro" and, well, it has a resemblance with the slang verb "tr*mbare" for some reason that only today I have figured out.

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You can say bad words on the internet, we promise we won't tell your mom.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You've never heard of "the rusty trombone"?

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Is that anything like the rusty venture?

[–] bmsok@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

That's why they all have spit valves

[–] dipshit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[–] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Putting gang after your instrument was started by violin gang. Ling Ling > lung lung

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Mastromboter