this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
1111 points (98.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

32415 readers
836 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] e0qdk@kbin.social 113 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Rule 9 from Agans's Debugging: If you didn't fix it, it ain't fixed

Intermittent problems are the worst...

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The problem is, how do you fix it if you can't make it break?

The worst thing is when somebody comes to you saying "yeah, I had this problem yesterday, but it's working now".

[–] neshura@bookwormstory.social 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this is a case for excessive logging man

likely won't help you actually fix the issue because miraculously you didn't log the three variables you actually need but it'll make you feel better in the meantime

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

and gives you some headroom in improving performance since it's being choked by the excessive logging

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] DraughtGlobe@feddit.nl 71 points 1 year ago (4 children)

ngl my programming career helped me stay grounded in reality. Every impossible issue turned out to always have a cause, a reason to be there. Could have taken weeks to track down the issue, but there was always a cause.

But still.. every 3 or so years.. something actually impossible pops-up. Impossible to fix, impossible to reproduce, and suddenly gone from existence, as if it was never there.

[–] MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Cosmic radiation! Bit flips! Quantum tunneling! Who TF knows...

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

If only consumer hardware had ECC memory

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Given how software is a giant Jenga tower made of smaller Jenga towers it's amazing any of it works at all

[–] folkrav@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Well at least some of the Jenga towers have redundant Jenga tower replicas, and that Jenga tower over there has a bunch of other Jenga towers ready to be propped up by a PAASser-by given a small cold start penalty. And this one? Nobody knows how it works, but it always worked.

Right? ... Right?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The longer I’m in IT, the more I realize that the adeptus mechanicus might be on to something with beseeching the machine spirit.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A lot of people think I'm joking when I say I'm a good at what I do because I'm a witch doctor with computers. Software Engineering requires experience with the occult, at a minimum.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“In my professional opinion, this network is haunted.”
…haunted?
(Points to various certifications) “HAUNTED.”

[–] Daryl76679@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And for some reason printers seem to be the place where the spirits are strongest

[–] Thorned_Rose@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

I think you mean demons

[–] TheGayTramp@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

The demons are attracted to doorways, passages between spaces, worlds, and realms. And printers are the ultimate doorway: a portal through which ideas and concepts can leave the software realm and enter the physical

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Traegs@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The other day I launched an old game and got met with an error, something about directX9 and missing a redistributable file or something. Decided not to fuck with it.

Yesterday I launched it again to take a closer look at the error message to see if I could fix it. No error message, game booted without issues.

My confusion.

[–] ActuallyRuben@actuallyruben.nl 16 points 1 year ago

Did you reboot your PC after installing? Games often included DirectX redistributables which required a reboot to fully install.

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Don't forget them cosmic rays flipping bits in your memory.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] darcy@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
if (new Date().getDay() % 2) {
    runCode();
}
[–] MisterD@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have this issue once in a while with PowerShell.

The environment gets f'up as you develop. You get strange shit happening or it blows up.

Restart PowerShell or reboot and it's all good

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Oodelallic@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago

lucky, you have code gnomes. leave out an offering of mountain dew and pizza rolls to appease the spirits.

[–] takeda@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Still better than my Go experience 2 years ago.

  • fails when deployed, after adding debug statements looks like in one structure there's 2 instead of 1, and looking at the code that should be impossible. Issue happens every single time.
  • the same exact unmodified container when downloaded and run locally works correctly every time.
[–] bleistift2@feddit.de 18 points 1 year ago

Build caches are a bitch.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I had that happen with embedded programming when you forget to flush the eeprom after changing your saved values.

[–] neshura@bookwormstory.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

hmm embedded. Beautifuly memories from uni. One lab my team forgot to remove a register whose supposed purpose was only enabling a communications bus (documentation didn't mention it doing anything else). Turns out that same register disables the dac which we needed for the new excersise. You learn to love the hardware datasheets real quick.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And when the data sheet is wrong that gets fun. You start parsing I2S for each bit and record the result until you see a pattern. Or when your program crashes the USB and you can’t reupload without hitting boot or reset but they are inside the box.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

MY PEOPLE!!! My code recently decided to not erase the flash when writing new firmware, bricking the device. Good times. (Old code || new code does not make for a working system)

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I’m dealing with this right now. Making the largest embedded project for me (self taught) RP2040 in Cpp with a TFT touch screen, an IMU with fusion, a strip of “neopixels”, a 12v battery voltage reader, some Lemo connectors and custom cables, all in a 3D printed case in 3 parts. I’m so close to the end but still facing some code issues.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

Cosmic radiation could always wreak havock by simply switching a 0 to a 1. It appears The Universe is Hostile to Computers.

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Maybe it only works on even dates, which is, you know, perfectly normal.

[–] FruitfullyYours@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

I've recently had the opposite: code worked then the next day without anything changing it didn't.

Turned out the J-Link programmer always needs the license check to work, but that expires every day at midnight. It only prompts again if you choose the app and restart it. So I couldn't get my debugger to work and spent hours trying to figure it out until I did the best thing. I turned it off and on again.

[–] DrQuint@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So... Network issue. I'm not falling for those ever again.

[–] Darkcloud784@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a network engineer, I hate you. Everyone blames network, even when the program/code/script/etc is the only thing that won't work on it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Tabugti@feddit.de 12 points 1 year ago

In university, we had to complete weekly tasks. A few times, the validation script provided by my professor returned an error, meaning that my solution had a mistake. When I tried rerunning the script the following day, my answer was accepted. At the end of the last lecture, my professor came to me and told me that I was usually the first one to hand in a solution and that he sometimes used my answers to validate his results.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 11 points 1 year ago

I had a bug in unity once where my project just stopped working. I hadn't changed anything, but I could no longer compile it or run the game in editor. I looked up the issue and apparently unity has/had a long-standing bug where the engine would rarely just quit being able to compile your scripts. The only solution was to make a new project and reimport all your assets, scripts, scenes, etc. Dunno if they ever figured out what was causing it or if it just kinda resolved itself and stopped showing up at some point. I don't really use unity much anymore.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

just make sure you absolutely don't comment or document it then commit it to git with a cryptic commit message and even more cryptic author name and then hand it off to your coworkers

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

Code works

Ctrl+a, ctrl+x, ctrl+v

Code doest work

[–] Lanthanae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

As a full stack cloud dev usually for me it ends up being some lag between when Azure claims a thing was updated and when it actually was.

(shout out to azure B2C custom policies for taking like 10 minutes to actually reflect changes despite giving me a lil green checkmark)

[–] ansorca@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Reminds me of the time I couldn't get my code to compile due to invisible unicode characters in the code I copy-pasted from the web.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you include an odd day of the month exception?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It do be like that sometimes... haha

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Setting up a stack of mongo db and unifi network application in docker compose
Doesnt work

Takes stack down, turns a setting off and on, starts the compose
Suddenly starts working

._.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Ryan213@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Must've been the effective_date.

load more comments
view more: next ›