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Anyone who makes me read a dumb contract owes me $100,000.00 one hundred thousand Untited States dollars. Since I'm feeling generous, I'll take Australian or Canadian dollars too

Why don't I see sovcits demanding fees of the range of 100s of millions of dollars? If they are going to try and insert these beliefs into reality then why not try to become billionaires along the way?

And who is going to enforce it?

The third person in this montage is a sovcit who wants $500 to reveal his name. What a deal!

The Dumbest Criminal Ever

"But I already said I'm not driving or operating."

I really don't know how they don't understand the very simple concept that you can't force someone into a contract.

But it was nice of him to not charge a fee to keep people updated, I guess.

Imagine if the tow truck guy was ALSO a sov cit and he took the contract and did the sovcit magic and signed his name in red ink at a 45 degree angle on this contract lol. Do you think the original guy would be like "hmm OK yup, you got me" or would he double-down?

overstand?

overstand???

Won't work, he got the protection spell wrong, there is no "Unitided States."

"To the Police or whom it may concern,

By arresting or detaining me you hereby agree to the contract by which I can do anything I want. Any instance of your intent to prevent or punish me is heretofore subject to a $58,000,000,000 (fifty eight billion dollar) penalty."

Right fellas, it's ~~crime~~ freedom time

Thank god the moron wrote out the number values (.00 cents btw!!!) and then immediately after wrote out the same information but in English. This isn’t a fucking check you dumbfuck, who exactly is getting any value out of doing that?

Maybe you shouldn’t hand write a goddamn “contract” if you’re soooo worried someone might come fudge the numbers you wrote down! Shit, at that point just write out the numbers in English and skip the numerical version altogether. Literally wasting their own time.

How the fuck do you spell "United" incorrectly? The Constitution and the 14th Amendment? Where do they think the Amendments are?

I do love "overstand" though.

What if they pay him with one of those coupons they like so much?

I'm now gonna use the word, "overstand" when someone over explains something to the point where they lose me again.

Making magical gestures ..."By your performance, we mutually agree to the binding terms of this contract!"

Hogwarts instructor: No, you must abbreviate that, it's much too lengthy, and you'll be counterspelled. Try this instead: "Contractus Bindero!"

I overstand. I overstand completely.

This is the equivalent of spam -- "NOW IN REAL LIFE! ™"

Did they illegally park while selling dick pills?

Dude’s gonna be a millionaire.

I wonder if part of the magic is being hand-written. Would it not work as well if it was typed? Does it matter what color ink or what type of paper you use? Or am I totally on the wrong track, and this person just prefers writing over typing?

Either way, I find it incredibly tragic. Seems like their car was involuntarily towed, which is already a bad situation, and this is going to make things worse. At best, it will cause delays.