If there's a problem simply shove a monkey up there. Problem rectified
this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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I see what you did there.
That was a great analysis you did of the problem
Thank you. I've always aspired to be a great analyst
Definitely worthy of getting into the annals of history
Hi gang! Doctor here, trained at and still work at the local "Rectal Foreign Body Center of Excellence", so I feel somewhat qualified to give my professional opinion.
Yes, nothing without a flared base should be used in this fashion. BUT, there's pretty much no risk for harm here. Mechanical obstruction is unlikely because, as OP says, it'll get mushy and get pooped out. Bananas aren't much of an irritant like a citrus fruit, so not much risk for chemical damage. Someone else said there might be a risk of potassium overdose, but not really. The rectum does absorb, but not as much as the stomach. So while some potassium will be absorbed, this is at worst equivalent to eating the same number of bananas. Which won't harm you.
So not a big risk here. That being said, flared bases, everyone!
I hope you remind friends, family, and colleagues about the importance of flared bases every holiday season. It's the type of progressive service the people need but don't realize yet. Stay #based and blesst y'all
I come from a heavily Roman Catholic background. Recognition of the existence of butt stuff to family doesn't go over well. But friends and the family I'm raising get regular reminders!
Alright then Doc, what item would you suggest to be the best to shove up my ass?
Me ;)
And where is your proof of having a flared base?
Sorry, probably not what you're asking for but I'm not going there.
I don't even myself know what I was asking for so I am satisfied with this.
Real talk, if you want to get into butt stuffing, get a squishy plug like a square peg egg plug or a topped toys gape keeper. Stuff that's designed for butt use is infinitely better than improvised things, let me tell you.
Luigi amiibo
Any microbial risk? I know there’s already poop in there, but they’re inserting a new food source into their body.
Yeah, some microbial risk. But the post says they're freshly peeled bananas, so probably less microbial risk than a lot of things people put up there...
less microbial risk than a lot of things people put up there...
Thank you, Dr Ass!
Thank you foe your answer. I don't believe in god, but if I did I'd ask them to bless you. 🫡
Gesundheit
Question for the doctor, especially due to your location of work. Have you ever been approached for shadowing? How would you prefer to be asked?
Yes, have been approached many times. Very open to shadowing and have had multiple people shadow me.
How would you prefer to be asked?
I'm not sure exactly what that question means? I guess I would prefer someone say "I am interested in medicine, can I shadow you to see if it's something I truly want to do?" Or "I'm applying to medical school and need shadowing hours. Your profession sounds like fun, can I shadow you?". Problem is you gotta know someone. Or know someone who knows someone. Can't just walk in off the street and say "I want to shadow", I'll likely say no. Most institutions do have a program to facilitate shadowing, which can help with access to willing docs.
Does that answer your question?
I like how you are taking these questions at face value. Time for an interview with Philomena Cunk.
"Isn’t it weird that your job is basically staring into a hole all day? Like, did you lose a bet or something?"
"Do you ever feel like your patients are secretly judging you while you're judging their behinds?"
"What was the first time you told someone, 'I want to dedicate my life to bottoms,' and how did they respond?"
"If you think about it, the rectum is like the backdoor of the body. Do you ever knock, or is it more of a barging-in situation?"
"Would you say the rectum is the most underappreciated organ, or is it just happy to be left alone?"
(Only answer if this is fun. I don't want to waste your time)
"Isn’t it weird that your job is basically staring into a hole all day? Like, did you lose a bet or something?"
I have a very broad scope of practice, so I stare into other holes as well! But no, didn't know how much of my profession would involve starting into holes.
"Do you ever feel like your patients are secretly judging you while you're judging their behinds?"
Eh, not really? Most people tend to be quite self conscious and so are wrapped up in their own judgement to judge me.
"What was the first time you told someone, 'I want to dedicate my life to bottoms,' and how did they respond?"
I think it was my parents? Pretty much their response was "seems like a good way to pay the bills".
"If you think about it, the rectum is like the backdoor of the body. Do you ever knock, or is it more of a barging-in situation?"
I like to take the door by surprise. If you give them notice by knocking, they clean up the place a bit. Gotta catch them by surprise to know what's really going on.
"Would you say the rectum is the most underappreciated organ, or is it just happy to be left alone?"
Underappreciated for sure. Ever seen that meme about which organ is the most important? Anus shuts up and everyone dies.
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Sir, this is a Wendy's
Their body their choice.
My eyes though
I read the first sentence and immediately stopped reading.
I did not and I wish I had. Today was a bad day to Internet
Am I the only one who thought it funny?
You did the right thing.
The last sentence makes this 10 times funnier
Bananema.
Gives eating ass a new meaning. New kink drops,
In the interest of science, we must monitor this person running a marathon.
We would need multiples running, some with and some without, ideally without even themselves knowing... you think about the last part, I get the bananas.
I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.
I'd say you need a more varied ass diet. Broccoli. Hummus. Pineapple. Trout.
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welp that's enough interneting for the day
How much banana can an ass hold, Michael?
10?
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