"Isn’t it weird that your job is basically staring into a hole all day? Like, did you lose a bet or something?"

I have a very broad scope of practice, so I stare into other holes as well! But no, didn't know how much of my profession would involve starting into holes.

"Do you ever feel like your patients are secretly judging you while you're judging their behinds?"

Eh, not really? Most people tend to be quite self conscious and so are wrapped up in their own judgement to judge me.

"What was the first time you told someone, 'I want to dedicate my life to bottoms,' and how did they respond?"

I think it was my parents? Pretty much their response was "seems like a good way to pay the bills".

"If you think about it, the rectum is like the backdoor of the body. Do you ever knock, or is it more of a barging-in situation?"

I like to take the door by surprise. If you give them notice by knocking, they clean up the place a bit. Gotta catch them by surprise to know what's really going on.

"Would you say the rectum is the most underappreciated organ, or is it just happy to be left alone?"

Underappreciated for sure. Ever seen that meme about which organ is the most important? Anus shuts up and everyone dies.

Would you allow someone to tag along quietly even if they weren't seeking a career in medicine?

That's a tough question. Given how much people are wanting to shadow and how little free time I have at work, I'm unlikely to allow some non-medical people to shadow. That's probably the American medicine training speaking there, though.