1084
Mandatory bees (startrek.website)
all 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee 69 points 1 year ago

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

It's about to be 2pm here and I'm laughing hard so it's not just you and not just the late hour 🤣

[-] OrekiWoof@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I've been giggling at this since I saw this in the morning. I'm trying to fall asleep now and I'm still here

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 35 points 1 year ago

We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 18 points 1 year ago

Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we've elected to expand our popular 'Bees in my desk!' policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you're a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

[-] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

[-] SamsungAppleOnePlus@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

[-] ethd@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago

Hwhat's this? An overabundance of bees in the workplace? My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

[-] Lurker123@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Hey there team members!

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

Bee seeing you! -hr

[-] OpenStars@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

But resistance is fu...n? :-P

[-] Mordachai_Shedbacon@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

You cannot stop her. Prepare for bees.

[-] Natanael@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 year ago

That Oprah meme has evolved huh

[-] MartinXYZ@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago

"I like my women like I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES!"

[-] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 10 points 1 year ago

Does this fetish have a name? Just so I can explicitely avoid it.

[-] RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago

oviposition

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Not (to my knowledge) a fetish , just an Eddie Izzard line from the aptly named stand up special Glorious 😁

[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Why would you want to stop her? Don't you want the bee crisis to be resolved?

[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 12 points 1 year ago
[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Does she have dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark bees fly out?

[-] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Smithers, release the hounds.

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

[-] beteljuice@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

Ugh I read "orifice" instead of "office" at first.

[-] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

I wouldn't wish harm on the bees, maybe bees is a product name for a vibrator though. If it's not it should be.

[-] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Does she work at Applebees?

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Only if the bees are strictly proprietary and designed to stop working after a few years.

[-] nul42@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

Not the Bees!

[-] Hatandwatch@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Mandatory bees nutz

[-] Mwallerby@startrek.website 6 points 1 year ago

Later that very same year, on International Bring a Shit-Ton of Bees to Work Day

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&si=T9Ri-aaA7KWYS5a3

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[-] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago
[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/hBZmQdFbVcY?si=U3z1f4hEkjl4uwJk

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[-] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

She can put bees in my office wink wink

[-] dan1101@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

But yeah we probably can't stop her.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Are they the ones in charge of the British clothing chain?

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No, but their weapon is strong against Shadow Man (kinda useless in every other situation, though.)

[-] casmael@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Pickle status update: buoyant

[-] fred@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

RTO is getting weird

[-] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

I think it's an offer

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
1084 points (99.1% liked)

Memes

45196 readers
2233 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS