Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that.
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Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older", so I don't have to suffer through this.
Somehow, I grew up in the one neighborhood in the city that hasn't had a spike in value in the last couple of decades. My mom refuses to move out to a retirement community (at this point she would need assisted living). She likes to talk about improving the property and what color she should paint the upstairs. Watches flipper shows all day.
I don't have the heart to tell her that I have no interest in inheriting the property and that it will be a huge burden to liquidate all of the 'antiques' she has gathered over the last 80 years that now stink of cat piss and many colors of mold.
She's always been there for me in my darkest hours, though, and so has that shit mid century ranch.
I'll still let her win at Wheel of Fortune, as long as she can remember my name.
Who the fuck downvotes this?
I was sitting in the room while my friend's dad was having a argument with his horrible dad. The horrible dad threatened to write him out of his will, and my friend's dad respond, "Why do you think I'd want 1/6th of fuck all anyway?"
I wouldn't be so blunt with my mother about things, but every time she talks about inheritance I encourage her to just spend the money on herself. Anything will be spilt between 7 kids overall (3 hers, 4 my late step dad). She is holding on to an expensive ring because my very well off, money hungry sister, has basically demanded it, so I'm working behind the scenes to try get her to sell it so she can invest in making her last few years that much easier.
"We aren't gonna give you any inheritance"
"I'm not gonna give 2 fcks about you when you become too old to care for yourselves"
I'm not saying that my family's like this but sounds fair to me...
I was sexually/otherwise abused by my mother for most of my life. When I brought it up to family, I was basically told to shut up about it/“go to therapy.” They spent thousands torturing me in troubled teen facilities, and provided me with nothing for college (which I paid for with multiple jobs and sex work.)
I will never own a house. I spent almost two years after my divorce to just be able to afford an apartment. My family has never valued me - I will not give them the comfort they denied when it is the end. My entire life has been a hell.
Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that. Wish I could offer you better help than, condolences and understanding from the other side of the internet.
No one should expect to inherit anything when their loved ones die.
The worst people are those that are too lazy to build something on their own, but sit around praying for their parents death so they can inherited and live an easy life.
Lewis Carroll has an interesting piece about that. Brings up the point that if someone works hard to benefit the community, and their wealth represents the response of the community to repay that person's work, perhaps it's not unreasonable that that person's request is, "repay it to my children," i.e. inheritance.
My aunt talked her mom out of kitchen remodel because it's going to cost so much (that she'll get smaller ineritance then) while my grandmom, who already spends most of her time alone at home then can't even spend her savings to make her surroundings a bit nicer.
Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older"
man I feel that. It's like raising a teenager.
"don't do that, it'll infect your PC."
"don't buy from there your card info will be stolen."
"no, Biden isn't going to round us up into camps."
"now we have to call and get you a new debit card."
"please don't buy so much junk food....why? because you have diabetes."
please don’t buy so much junk food…why? because you have diabetes
This one hit too close to home. My mum has diabetes, dad is close to it, I can't get them to stop eating sweets
There’s an odd mentality that you just need to dose more insulin, no big deal, when eating poorly with diabetes. Understanding is sometimes the problem.
Here’s a better way to think about it in terms of body damage over time.
Think of sugar as fuel, because it is. When you have diabetes you lack the capacity to regulate the concentration and intensity of that fuel once you ingest it. You can add other things to the mix that can and will help (insulin and various oral agents) but the efficiency and immediacy of the inherent system simply isn’t there when you have diabetes.
Think of excess sugar in the blood as a caustic fuel that slowly (speed varies by individual as well as food consumed) burns out the vasculature (blood vessels) over time.
This burn out due to excess fuel is why nerves in the feet die. Neuropathy is the official name for the numbness and tingling in toes and feet that diabetics generally, eventually, experience. The burnout is also why toe tissue dies and toes need to be amputated, along with a foot or even an entire lower leg with knee, depending. Eye tissue is another location hit particularly hard by this burn out effect from sugars.
So there’s impact over time based on how much caustic sugar fuel you pour into your own bloodstream.
Also, sugar is addictive. Like meth or heroin, people struggle with letting it go.
Very well put, thank you!
Also, sugar is addictive. Like meth or heroin, people struggle with letting it go.
Don't I know it
Theres also a ton of people, medical professionals included, that treat type two diabetes as a permanent problem with no possibility of reversing it. This leads to people focusing on the medication they need to take instead of the food they eat.
Doctors have been saying “you need to lose weight” for a very long time, decades at least. Aside from a small sliver of patients this advice is typically ignored. People want a pill for this, not to have to give up that bucket of KFC or the supersized McDonald’s French fries.
Recently, patients raise hell with healthcare workers’ bosses if weight loss is advised because it’s “mean” or is “impacting my mental health” regarding body image. So the suggestion is not made as much in general in the last 5 years.
The problem on this one isn’t often the doctors.
Now, if a patient needs surgery and is too obese for it to happen then there’s a path forward to advise weight loss without repercussions. If cholesterol is high there’s also a path forward for advising diet change, again, without repercussions. Diabetes, again, diet recommendations so you don’t fall into a coma and die, and so you can potentially keep both your feet.
All of that said, you hit diabetes phase you do have it forever, but with type 2 you can manage it by diet if you behave well, reduce weight, and maintain healthy eating. This is great, but it doesn’t mean the type 2 diabetes is gone just that it’s well managed, or “diet managed”. Another way to think of it is that it’s in remission by virtue of your good behavior but not cured. Go on a month long food bender and things can change back again.
To reverse, you need to lose weight and adjust your diet, per your doctors instructions, as soon as your doctor tells you you are pre-diabetic.
Nutrition consults typically come with the diagnosis, but people are notorious for not following up with the next specialist. Diabetic educator is a position as well. Your doctor is booked like an airport by his/her bosses and probably can’t cram that into the 15-20min time slot allowed. Referrals are made for a reason.
Two things that commonly happen to thinking on this topic. Oh, I’m prediabetic, whatever, it’s something we watch, nothing to do here, I’m safe because no insulin required. Or, I no longer need Metformin or insulin or whatever, so I must no longer be diabetic. Both are typically wrong.
Another thing that happens is hardcore denial of even having type 2 diabetes because “I don’t take insulin.”
This isn’t all people, this is simply a piece of the mess involved with diet and exercise advice in health care alongside type 2.
In keeping with the probabilities game that is the human body, here’s a fun fact. There are morbidly obese people in the 500-700lb zone who are not diabetic and still guzzling sugar like none other. Someone has to exist on the tails of the bell curve.
As always, bring your health questions to your doctors, don’t take some random dipshit on the internet seriously.
millennials may miss out
Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame
I don't see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.
How? "Missing out" means you're the one who is negatively impacted. It also says and Gen Z. Not sure how that could be interpreted otherwise.
When my grandparents passed away they left my boomer mother a fully paid off duplex...
Which she immediately reverse mortgaged to fund her retirement because she has nothing.
A house my grandmother designed, and great grandmother financed and built, where 4 generations of my family lived and literally died, will be pissed into the wind when my mother dies.
"Generation Me."
My dad - who was an amazingly racist conspiracy theorist - gave all his money to 2 redhead women he started fucking after divorcing the woman he married after my mom died.
He chose not to leave me anything because I called him out for using the "n" word any time he talked about African Americans.
I'm out $150k
He is out having a legacy. My kids will never know his name, story, or hate.
Congratulations on being a decent person even though your role model was not. It's hard to break that cycle.