this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 12 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, that's what jesus died for.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

This and blasting rope to waluigi hentai.

[–] bunchberry@lemmy.world 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not surprising as much of online conservatism these days is just gooning. They're all porn addicts who cry about the wokes taking away their softcore porn from their video games.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

meanwhile I'm looking for better porn in real videogames. So far, nothing beats skyrim. Games that advertise having porn are shit video games, and most video games have terrible excuses for porn. Why can't the two come together?

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 15 hours ago

Try the Flip Witch: The Forbidden Sex Hex

[–] Remotedeck@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

The christian tradwife fetish is just about a free use full time submissive with a twee aesthetic, so I'm not that surprised

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 7 points 19 hours ago

Go peruse the old testament and realize ypu would get demonitized for reading it aloud on youtube.

Pervertus inceptus romanus

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 52 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oh noooo, he suffered a few days and then got to hang out with his dad in heaven for eternity and be worshipped by billions of people. What a sacrifice!

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago

My take: death was preferable to living in the world his dad controled.

[–] DesolateMood@lemm.ee 11 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Idk man I don't think I would be okay with being nailed to a cross even if i knew it meant living in heaven for eternity

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It happened to a huge amount of people. The Romans crucified so many people, it was so common place, that they didn't even bother to write down how they did it. All I'm saying is, it wasn't a unique form of suffering that was particularly difficult to Jesus vs thousands of other people in history. If the difficulty of the death was the measure, he didn't go that far out of his way.

[–] DesolateMood@lemm.ee 4 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Being common doesn't make it any less unpleasant

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

I just know there are Christians out there that have a very tenuous grasp on why exactly Jesus is the savior in Christianity and many think it's because his death was UNIQUELY painful. The idea that it was uniquely painful is very much nonsense, or we'd have a lot of saviors. He had a horrible but common place death.

[–] epicsninja@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Yeah but if he wanted he could have gotten something way more exotic, like being filled with spiders.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Fair enough, but I also don't think that we should consider a few days of suffering for an eternity of basically being god much of a sacrifice.

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[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

I wonder what happen if I hacked any preacher or pastor's phone and/or PC?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 87 points 1 day ago (3 children)

There's a significant amount of rape in the BIble. And a lot of it is condoned.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say sex slavery is a bad thing. But it sure does like talking about how all of those divine kings had concubines.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 119 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] Dalvoron@lemm.ee 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or maybe that's not a sin 😏

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 16 points 1 day ago (14 children)

"Spilling seed" is a sin... So confirmed that Jesus saw it and thought it was worth forgiving by dying on a cross for.

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Eh. The thing Catholics use to say spilling seed is a sin is them completely misunderstanding what was happening.

So this dude Onan’s brother died without giving his wife any sons (or maybe children in general, I don’t remember). So according to tradition at the time, Onan was supposed to provide her with a son. But once he gave her a son, his job would be complete and he wouldn’t get to bang her anymore. So he pulled out.

The problem here wasn’t that he spilled his seed, it was that he spilled his seed in order to keep banging his brother’s widow.

But the Roman Catholic Church at some point was like, “OMG masturbation must be bad too!” So they decided that masturbation should he called “Onanism.” Which is ridiculous, dude is famous for pulling out, not jackin’ it.

🙄

[–] inv3r510n@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Today I learned

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[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"blasting rope" the synonyms for masterbation continues to grow longer

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 110 points 1 day ago (24 children)

I don't understand why people are making it such a big deal. Jesus died, yes, but he has risen from the dead after a few days. So basically he only died for a weekend, for the human race. "Oh what a brave man! He gave up his weekend!" There are other people who did much more for the human race, like Fritz Haber for example. Also, necromancy isn't allowed according to the bible, so zombie Jesus broke the rules.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 24 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Fritz Haber for example

I mean....... Haber isn't exactly a giant of morality and ethics. He did invent most of the chemical weapons utilized in WW1, and expressly defended their use as weapons.

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 53 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (12 children)

Jesus died so we could have bread. He is risen!

Also, rape porn is very much in keeping with biblical values.

[–] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 4 points 20 hours ago

Jesus died so the bread could rise. blessed be the yeast.

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[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 87 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Its the post nut clarity...

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[–] ddplf@szmer.info 56 points 1 day ago (16 children)

I'm a Christian myself, but I swear - zealous or ostentatious Christians are some of the meanest, nasties and most awful people I know.

Coming from deeply catholic region, I know lots of such people. They will judge you for not being like them, they will absolutely try to convert you, and they are definitely the most hateful and straight out ignorant people I ever met.

I don't blame the religion though, because these people are obviously not following Jesus, but rather the spiteful catholic church.

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[–] peto@lemm.ee 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He died so you can sin. Would be a waste of a good blood sacrifice to live a pure life if your god is just handing out grace.

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