Asklemmy

Aside from the likelihood of this outing my account, I once had a first date at a renowned noodle house in town, and the surprise rarity of the single table in the front window (converted Victorian, alcove). We order, make small talk, I think it's going great — until movement in the corner of my right eye out the window draws me to watch, in the middle of her sentence, a full-grown adult male climb onto the hood of the parallel parked car and proceed to empty his thrice-cursed bowels onto it like he was putting out a chemical fire.

I recall being unable to look away and catching her attention drift toward my view at the same time the waiter arrived with our lunches, only to table them with an "Uhm. Well." and ghost.

So, not exactly "at another table", but the whole place has front row seats, so 🤷🏽‍♂️

After finishing his food, an old guy was cleaning his teeth with the laminated menu card

A couple sitting at a table where the seats were a bench and not chairs. Even though they were trying to be discreet, it became obvious at one point that he was rubbing her crotch and she his. I don't think they ever realized that some people in the restaurant noticed it

guy next table had a sizzling bulgogi plate, mmm

An elderly couple sat next to us, and the man sent his elk chop back twice because it was “too seasoned.” The second time they put no seasoning on it for him, but he still claimed that it had “the seasoning from the pan.” He then proceeded to order salmon instead (with no seasoning) and complain loudly the whole time. No tip for the waitress.

For context, this was a nice restaurant at Crater Lake in Oregon. My husband also ordered the elk chop, and said it was the best meal he’s ever had. We tipped the waitress double and had a great laugh with her about the whole situation after the elderly couple left.

At a white tablecloth local bistro, this woman literally picked up her plate and licked it clean. She also was having such hilariously weird conversations about alien abductions that I got an uncontrollable case of the giggles and had to go sit in the car while my SO paid the check.

Old lady got mad at her husband threw a fork at him, missed, and it flew across the restaurant and hit a child in the head. The mother was not happy. Luckily it wasnt the pointy end that hit.