this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 51 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And under absolutely no circumstances should you put these on.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's honestly a helluva chastity device. Ain't no one tryna fuck with them on

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago

You underestimate the kinks of people

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Unless you're into that sort of thing...

[–] Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 weeks ago

The embedded tooth really does it for me

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 31 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fun fact in the original Lovecraft mythos the Necronomicons were normal ass books that just happened to hold eldritch and arcane knowledge. Im sure anyone who has had the misfortune of opening up a copy of Wealth of nations or Capital knows the feeling.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Well, normal is a stretch. It was still forbidden to read and written by a madman in his own blood, driving anyone reading it at least partially insane.

Lovecraft was basing it on The King in Yellow by Robert Chambers. The character itself also appears in the Lovecraft pantheon as Hastur.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that counts as a normal college paper, but yeah it did have some secondary properties to it. But it wasnt bound in flesh or anything, plus by Lovecraft standards thats still pretty tame.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it being a normal book on the outside is actually scarier. The knowledge in the book was dangerous, not the object itself.

I would never open the Book of the Dead from Evil Dead but I might open the Necronomicon if I find it at an antique bookstore or something.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Which is also why it works, much like most threats it looks utterly mundane on the outside but once ya look closser you see its true threat. A good example is an old crate of dynamite which may look fine externally but its likely the nitroglycerin has seeped out and if you move that crate you are being annihilated.

[–] DaMonsterKnees@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 12 points 3 weeks ago

There! I said your damned words alright!

It's sad how many people here don't know what the meme is from.

[–] FiremanEdsRevenge@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 weeks ago

I may not have said every single syllable!

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 19 points 3 weeks ago

"What's that the face of?"

"The previous reader."

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hail to the king, baby.

Ash Williams > Duke Nukem

[–] dutchkimble@lemy.lol 2 points 3 weeks ago

We need that buddy cop movie

[–] BanjoShepard@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

What harm ever came from reading a book?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I remember laughing so hard at that, when I saw in the theater, that everyone around me was like, “SSHHH!”

I couldn’t help it. That was one of the funniest things in the whole movie.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

My thought has always been, "who the hell grabs a book like that?"

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

Same because the only answer is “someone who hopes it’s sentient”.

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

It looked like he was trying to just flip the front cover open, to see if he could determine which book was the real one before taking it.

[–] Korne127@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

Army of Darkness, aka Evil Dead 3 (although you don't really need to see the first two and it's much less horror and much more comedy than the first two as well).

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Evie became a rich adventurer badass married to Brendan Frasier, so it worked out alright for her.

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Brendan Fraser. Wow, what a roller coaster. I’m glad he’s doing well again. I like him.

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I have a necronomicon, but it has very basic binding, and I haven’t read it.

It was a housewarming gift that made me go “the fuck mate, you want me to die and leave the house to you or what?” Which was apparently the exact right response.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Naw, man, that's just the cookbook that tells you how long to leave the one big crumb in the bottom of your air fryer.

[–] Wynnstan@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

I often judge a book by it's cover, because the back cover usually tells me what the book is about.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 weeks ago

The exception that proves the rule?

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The plot of Evil Dead Rise wouldn’t have happened either if they followed this simple rule

[–] NOPper@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just like Evil Dead, it's those damn Devil made phonographs causing all this ruckus!

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I haven’t seen the originals, graphics are too low res

/s

I haven’t gotten around to watching them yet

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck Lovecraft.

Anyways, I started reading The Light Fantastic and I spotted a parody called “Necrotelicomnicon” which is described of pages made of lizard skin.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

That's from the Evil Dead movies (and TV series). It was inspired by Lovecraft, in that the book is called the Necronomicon, but that's about as far as it goes.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Technically its the "Necronomicon ex Mortis". Which of course means "Book of the Dead of the Dead"

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago

You can't tell me wh........... YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ......MUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Depends, if this is a personal curse or like a curse on humanity as a whole.

Because of its humanity as a whole I might just open it anyways ya know just to keep things interesting. Gotta be better than what the rich fucks are doing ¯⁠\_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago

Well did you see how it sucked on his hand though

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Wait I've got an idea. Let's make Chat GPT read it.

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

Soul Sacrifice was a fun game.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

I wanna read it.

[–] bruhsoulz@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Nobody: Hermaeus Mora trying to reach you:

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