this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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...how on one hand there's a male loneliness epidemic and women are partly to blame because we're so picky - and yet on the other hand things like this.

How can we both be desperately needed for your emotional health but also be huge annoying burdens? I don't get it.

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[–] BombOmOm@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is a joke to get a chuckle out of the audience. You are reading 20 steps into something that is only 1 step deep.

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I understand that but the whole reason the joke is funny is that it plays on the idea that women are annoying burdens.

I just find it odd that on one hand we hear so much about male loneliness and how we'll be unfulfilled to the point of psychological annihilation if we don't have a man and screaming kids to clean up after...but on the other hand we're huge annoying burdens.

[–] peter@feddit.uk 5 points 8 months ago

There's a lot of people in the world and a lot of different opinions. Most men aren't lonely, and most married men don't view their wife as an annoying burden. The joke isn't really that funny either to most people, it's a pretty stupid joke even if most people will get it.

[–] Oneser@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't think male loneliness has anything specifically to do with women, more about how men are typically raised to build relationships?

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I definitely see rhetoric about how picky women are and how we won't just give men chances.

Fair enough...I'm not fussed about relationships and unless you're literally Daniel Naroditsky I'd rather chill in my comfortable armchair than bother going on a date. But why all this complaining if we're just huge annoying burdens you need to be rescued from marrying?

[–] DessertStorms@kbin.social 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

But why all this complaining if we’re just huge annoying burdens you need to be rescued from marrying?

because it's significantly easier to blame and complain about women than it is to "risk" becoming equals by joining the fight against the patriarchy which is actually to blame.

Just like it's easier for them to dismiss their behaviour as "a joke" and gaslight you in to thinking you're basically "just being hysterical", than it is to admit they're being actively misogynistic (which they 100% are).

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Women, can't live with em, can't live without em."

You just rephrased this old joke.

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago

I mean yes I'll admit that women also have our own bad habits and twisted dynamics. We aren't blameless either.

[–] hex_m_hell@slrpnk.net 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

It's gas lighting, like a lot of the posts in response. Being socialized as a man sucks. You're both measured by your partners and expected to not need anyone or express any emotions. So basically you get shit like you described where men end up having no self esteem so they are desperate for women to validate them but they also feel smothered and confused by the completely normal and human need for emotional connection that woman have been allowed to keep.

Patriarchy is a machine that turns normal humans in to abusers, and it takes a lot of work to deprogram from this... Especially when it's constantly being reinforced all around you (like a lot of the guys who responded).

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Women aren't needed for male completion. Time to put the homo back in homosapien.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What the fuck is a male loneliness epidemic?

Sounds like a term created by assholes because they can't understand that people don't like assholes.

[–] Thade780@lemmy.world -1 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 8 months ago

I feel like that's an unfair dismissal. Loneliness doesn't have a single source (IE lack of a female partner). People are struggling with feelings of isolation and poor mental health across the board.

[–] blahsay@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is called humour.

Relax

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

I'm not mad I'm genuinely just curious. I cannot help noticing how on one hand it's often men who lose their shit the hardest at the fact that I don't want kids or a husband and insist that I'll be unfulfilled to the point of sitting in a mental ward playing with poop if I don't marry and have kids.

Yet on the other... jokes like this are common.

Why do some men love to push something they hate and makes them feel trapped?

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

I get what you’re saying. It’s a prevailing type of “boomer humor” that has sadly trickled into the younger generations. “Take my wife, please!” and other dangerfield-ish jokes just refuse to die. I agree that it’s a sad form of humor that doesn’t do anyone any good.

There’s a great I Think You Should Leave sketch about this.

[–] blahsay@lemmy.world -1 points 8 months ago

It's fine if you don't understand the thinking or humour. As long as everyone is having fun there's better things to stress about.

[–] insomniac_lemon@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I would say that to some degree the terminally lonely are not the ones expressing distaste for annoyance (that is likely people who live together and don't have much separation/boundaries).

There also may not be an answer. Two people can have conflicting preferences with neither being wrong.