506
...did everyone get this? (startrek.website)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 64 points 9 months ago

From now until then you're invincible.

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 22 points 9 months ago

I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!

[-] tryitout@infosec.pub 13 points 9 months ago

You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 12 points 9 months ago

Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.

Dammit

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago

The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago

That's horrible. Thank you

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

And this is why we have GFCIs, folks

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

Because there's immortals walking among us?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 24 points 9 months ago

No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago

Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 9 months ago

That's the joke part.

[-] happilybitchycowboy@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

Not gonna make it that long. Nice try.

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 16 points 9 months ago

Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.

Can we make it sooner?

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Be the change you want to see in the world!

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Where's the nearest bridge?

EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.

[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 16 points 9 months ago

Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca

[-] Thaumiel@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

I don't get it. Who's Candleja

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th

[-] Sanyanov@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!

[-] wafflez@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

dang, Feb 23rd 2067 for me

[-] notepass@feddit.de 6 points 9 months ago
[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

4.. 3.. 2.. 1

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 9 months ago

Shit, that's my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] jacktherippah@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

Mine says "December 5th 2023"

[-] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Mine says 1997. Just 1997.

[-] Numberone@startrek.website 4 points 9 months ago

Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?

[-] cicadagen@ani.social 7 points 9 months ago

I don't think so... RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.

[-] FleetingTit@feddit.de 3 points 9 months ago

Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 14 points 9 months ago

laughs in climate wars

[-] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great

[-] Rakonat@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30

[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 months ago

If someone could guarantee me that I would die 20 years from now I think I would take it. I would rather a guaranteed 20 years than a potential 40.

It would be great not having to worry about death for that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

I sure hope I live past 66...

[-] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to steal my identity based on knowing my approximate age, so I'm not too concerned.

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

That's what you think, P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia!

[-] PatFussy@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks

It makes the math easier though

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Jon_Servo@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.

[-] ipha@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Too optimistic to be real.

[-] TIMMAY@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

that's so long from now though

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
506 points (96.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26244 readers
5048 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS