Talk about your ex. Or at least that's a pro tip that I like to hear often
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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If the ex somehow comes up in conversation, just say "we just weren't compatible and broke things off amicably, and are both better people now" and leave it at that
I made this mistake (had a relationship for 8 years that started when I was 16) at the time, so I had zero dating experience. The girl I had a date with thought: "ok, then this'll just be a one night stand, he's not bad looking."
More than 6 years later we're married with a daughter, dog and cat.
Or my ax
Show up with your wife.
And kids
Shit on the table
So this was what the poop post was for.
Idk what you mean by βpoop postβ, but you reminded me of a story my grandma told me about when she was a little girl. Sheβs from Cuba, and her parents would sometimes take her to visit some distant relatives which were basically mountain people. Like, straight up neanderthal living-in-the-wilderness type stuff.
She said that they had a βpoop stickβ, which was like a tree branch they would use to wipe their ass after shitting. It was a community thing too, like a public toilet. Everyone in the village would share it, just rub their shitty ass on it after crapping into (I assume) a hole in the ground.
My grandma also likes to make things up to be funny, so idk how true that is.
What if it's a really nice sturdy table and you don't want your date taking it home with them?...
Well, I (unintentionally) called someone ugly after she removed her mask, there was no second date
How do you do that unintentionally?? Did you just blurt it out? Did she remove the mask and you couldn't hold in an "eugh"? I must know!
Visibly and audibly throw up in your mouth after she removes the mask.
It went something like:
- You had never seen me without it, right?
- No, you look older
(Brief awkward silence)
- I feared you would say that
- (freezes)
Then she told me she is insecure about that, I think she is actually like 3 years older than most of her classmates and some mock her because of that.
I didnβt think she was ugly, to me I was just pointing something out, and only realized I probably insulted her until days later. And Iβm pretty sure I said more stupid things, if you want iβll try to remember.
Also, if something reads weird, my native language is not english.
Probably something along the lines of "you look better with the mask on!"
Fart in their general direction.
That's a sign of true love
Unfortunately not on the first date... No.
Pathetic
Especially if it smells of elderberries
I was gonna say take a dump on their bumper but yours works too
Murder tends to be frowned upon.
Using your phone constantly
Complain about things.
Unless it's something you can keep lighthearted, and maybe make a point with in a funny way. But just bitterly bitching about something in your life is probably the worst (normal) thing you can do. That or treat service staff badly.
get pregnant
Don't inspire fear or disgust, that's the basics.
Come with your spouse? Or your mum?
Insist on going to Dennys and then throw a fit about the lack of vegan options at Dennys.
Don't start planning a family
Order the lobster. Or you'll have to put out
Be yourself.
Or at least, be myself.
Talking about getting married and having kids
So when is it a good time to bring up the wife and kids when out dating?
After years of a solid, unquestioned relationship
Why, tho?
It is obviously weird in the first date, but I think it should be brought up pretty early in a relationship.
If they don't have the same goals or view these things remotely the same way, why invest time in a relationship? Just to have it become a problem ahead?
Yes
Talk about zodiac signs for an hour. Yeah I'm looking at you Laura, fuck you and your zodiac signs. I don't care if mercury is retrograde.
I had her come to my apartment and half ignored her while playing D&D online with my family. Then I took her to a wedding for free food.
We are married with 2 kids and my family told her that even if we break up she still has to visit them.
Show up naked with your dog, sit at the table and spread some peanut butter on your balls.
Not say anything.
Went on a date with a girl I thought was pretty cute, and I heard she had the hots for me. So at first I had high hopes. NGL, I like mysterious but that was too much. All I got was variations of a shrug.
I'm not proud of what I did, but I made some excuse and just left her alone. I simply couldn't stand it.
Confessing your crimes. Save it for the wedding night.
Ask me zero questions and/or not contribute much to the conversation. I want to get to know you, and I want a partner who is genuinely interested in getting to know me.
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