this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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Yeah, that’s not at all what the male loneliness thing is about at all. Was the point of your meme to make fun of how ignorant people are about this particular issue for men or were you trying to suggest the issue is invalid and the result of misogynistic assholes? Because if it’s the latter I think you just demonstrated your own ignorance and should probably spend some time trying to empathize more with men and educate yourself.
Par for the course for cm0002 to drop a devisive clickbait "meme" for engagement and disappear. I understand we want Lemmy to grow, but is this actually the kind of content we want churned out?
He spams just the worst slop I've seen 24/7. Honestly I think he brings the overall quality of posts down on Lemmy. I'm glad I am not the only one that noticed how frequently he posts recycled trash.
A second person I can ask. What's the epidemic then? If it's not men failing to meet some pretty basic standards for empathy and kindness, what is it?
Not the person you replied to.
That's easy it's not not wanting to come off as a creep. Where do you meet them? I have been told you cannot approach women in the bar, work, gym, through hobbies etc. Only place that is okay is dating apps and they are awful for so many reasons for everyone involved.
You don't want to be creepy so you don't approach people. Then you get people calling you creepy for being lonley.
I don't think the main message is not approaching women anywhere. I think the main message is actually making friends before making a move. Not just asking someone out.
I've had 2 relationships and am in a happt marriage going on 10 years, and each one started by being friendly and sharing interests, because then it's natural to go do something together sometime.
Don't overcomplicate it, just be friendly and make it natural to spend time together.
Ahhh, yes. Intentionally being on "the hunt". It's a shitty model, it rarely works, and I don't understand why it persists.
This is part of the fallacy that men are fed.
I should probably make a video on the subject, but I doubt people would listen. But the way to meet women is the same way you meet new male friends. How do you do that?
It's already a stretch to assume that men complaining about loneliness are happy with the number of male friends that they've got, but it's a bigger stretch to assume that what they did to get their male friends should also get non-male friends. There are still men who haven't realised that women are people and that to befriend them, you need to talk to them as if they're people, but they're not the ones referring to a male loneliness epidemic, and would instead blame conspiracy theories where crazed feminists want to do evil deeds or whatever nonsense it is that the likes of Andrew Tate peddle. Plenty of men just don't meet anyone new, and on the rare occasions when they do, it's when engaging in a male-dominated hobby or at a male-dominated workplace, and so it's another man. E.g. for reasons I don't understand, all the bars near me where it's quiet enough to have a conversation (the bare minimum to befriending someone) are almost exclusively attended by men. After you've shown up a few times, you might be friends with the regulars, but no matter how effectively you make friends with them, they'll still all be men.
You're probably right that no one would listen if you made a video, as anyone who needs to hear the thing you're trying to explain is too entrenched exclusively watching manosphere influencers, and anyone without that kind of terminal brainrot already knows what you're trying to tell them.
Maybe this is the core of what I failed to understand. The male loneliness epidemic isn't about women. We don't have male friends either.
It also is more than a male loneliness problem. There has been a fundamental shift in society in the last decade or so, as we get more connected online we seem to be becoming less connected offline.
It started with the near complete disappearance of "third place"s.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
Honestly, I feel this comment.
I generally disagree with the whole "male loneliness epidemic" framing... But this is a legitimate point.
When's the last time you asked someone out?
It’s complicated because there are a variety of contributing factors and it’s not the same for every lonely man. There are some societal mores in certain demographics (e.g. urban Black men, traditional Hispanic men, traditional Southern White men) where men are expected to not talk about emotional pain or express it only in anger. They’re expected to solve all of their own problems and even complaining about a problem you’re struggling to solve makes you look weak to your peers. These kinds of societal forces cut men off from emotional support even when they have friends and makes them feel alone and abandoned even though they have people in their lives.
Then there’s stuff like boys/men getting addicted to video games and not socializing enough in person with people to create friendships groups outside of discord, that kind of thing. Like I said, it’s multifaceted. But it’s no joke and it’s not about misogyny.
Being taught to hide your emotions is part of my point. It stunts emotional growth and then they struggle to communicate or understand feelings. Which I believe leads to treating other people like objects.
I’m sorry, but that’s just not true. Being taught to hide your feelings doesn’t necessarily stunt emotional growth, and even if emotional growth is stunted, that doesn’t necessarily lead to treating other people like objects. You’re making a lot of assumptions about how people mature under these conditions. Do you have any professional sources to back this up or is it just your personal view of the topic?
https://youtu.be/rQv8VuLpKN4
I'm really struggling to get through this video. " Men are in a crisis and no one really cares"
The Fuckin feminists care. The patriarchy, and how it's all been set up, is exactly the problem that caused all of this. The tight gender roles that need to fit certain models.. That's what feminism is here to fight.
Depends on your brand of feminism. Sounds like that's about to become a no true Scottsman argument.
Where is all the care when I see women choosing the bear? Where is all the care when women go on TV saying men are useless and we don't need men then laughing about it? What specifically are you talking about when you say the patriarchy is to blame? Cuz that just sounds like things I hear in the video that you struggled to get through.
Men are lonely? That's men's fault! Cool, guess I'll go kick my own ass? This is why the left is completely losing men as a demographic.
And I'm saying this all as a registered Democrat in a loving relationship who is not lonely.
And I've said this all before the election, got down voted for it, and then lo and behold a lot of men shifted to Trump, especially in the younger demos, which have traditionally been more progressive.
You ask the average man if they feel feminists care about them and I doubt you'll get a favorable response.
"where is the care when women are talking about themselves and their problems"
The care is when they point out that gender roles are stupid and that everyone should go to therapy.
So a video gets linked filled with examples of people who would proudly claim to be feminist demonstrate zero empathy for men, you somehow struggled to watch it for some unknown reason (maybe because it made you uncomfortable because it doesn't fit your mental narrative) and instead of acknowledging the existence of these bad actors in your golden concept of gender eradicating feminism, you simply blame men for not being in therapy.
You are the exact problem I'm describing on the left. We're never winning another election at this point if we're going to be this clueless and obstinate.
Chef's kiss.
I mean it almost sounds like an abusive relationship to me. Look what you made me do! I wouldn't have said that if you had more therapy!
And no, I didn't hear any of those people arguing men are useless and unnecessary arguing for the eradication of gender norms. Just the eradication of men in general.
I guess I can't be accountable for the people claiming to be feminists who are actually misandrists. And you can't be accountable for the anti-lonliness folks who are actually misogynists.
In general, yeah, as my friend recently told me, "We do what we can, and that's all anyone can do."
We can all vocalize our concerns, but we should also call out bad actors when they crop up inside whatever faction.
Misogyny and Misandry are both very real and two sides of the same unempathetic coin, but I have to believe they are the hyper vocal minority seeking to drag everyone else into their misery with them and whip everyone into a frenzy.
Content people don't complain on social media, they are too busy being content; living a life of love with their loved ones.
Kinda like restaurants. Most people don't leave a bad review, they just don't come back. Most people don't leave a good review, they just come back repeatedly.