this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
62 points (88.8% liked)
Asklemmy
44149 readers
1362 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
If you want to entertain having kids, you need to be ready for a radical shift in your life priorities. Your kids will take priority over just about everything -- often even yourself. They'll take priority over your parents entirely, let alone your personal relationship with them.
First, are the practical and logistical aspects of your life at all dependent on your parents? I.e. are you fully independent? You will need to be and then some, you're going to entertain having kids.
Once you're fully independent and additionally have resources to spare (time, effort, money, space, etc, usually b/c you're with a partner you can trust and rely on), then choosing to have kids means starting your own family -- not your parents' family.
If the grandparents are supportive and helpful, that's great! They're extremely welcome to contribute to your kids' lives (and lighten some of your parenting load!)
However, if they're negatively impacting you or esp your kids, then they can lose that privilege. Again, your priority will be your kids. If this is a real concern for you, you'll need to factor it into your "ready to have a kid" considerations.