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How do I stop slef sabotage and procrastination? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 month ago by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I used to be good at time management and very motivated in my career. Then about two years ago I lost a close friend over a strong disagreement and then lost my job.

Slowly but surely I became a bit depressed and had some physical health issues. I'm seeing a therapist already, and a few months ago I finally managed to get a plebe job at a retailer, but when it comes to doing my personal work that would open doors in my industry I just can't seem to find the time and motivation to do it.

Don't get me wrong. I got plenty of time available, I just find myself being ridiculously avoidant or distracted or tired, you get the idea. And, no, I don't use social media much, I don't videogame or binge shows. I just get distracted with house chores or simply overthinking.

I've already tried lists, planning and goal setting ( all this comes naturally to me), but it makes no difference.

I've tried reducing the expectations and goals, no difference. I still don't do anything.

I tried apps to keep track of my progress; also useless.

I've even considered finding a life coach, but I get the feeling they're a scam. Unfortunately I don't have any friends or relatives that can help me stay on track with my goals.

TLDR I'm getting a bit desperate here. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks.

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[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I'll give my perspective anyway.

Why do you care about getting "back in your industry/career"? Yeah you did it previously, but is it really what makes you happy?

When you have goals, you always think "once I reach this, everything will be better". In my experience and with everyone I ever talked with, this was never the lasting case. Reaching some nice goal gave satisfaction for days or sometimes even weeks or months, but never longer. Then it was back to dissatisfaction and another goal.

The common path frequently described out of depression is getting back into the groove of setting goals, following them, not being satisfied, setting another goal, repeat. This is not how I got out of my depression and also not a good life.

I don't think it's important that you reach your goal of getting back in your industry or whatever. I think it's important that you're fine with not reaching it. I think it's important to recognize that you can be happy and satisfied right where you are, exactly with what you have.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Fair take.