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You seem to think there are only two outcomes: completely forgotten, or remembered with profound sadness. Those are the self-imposed limitations of one who can't come to terms with death. Choosing to forget loved ones is a slight to their entire existence. It's time to realign your thinking. Remember those who have passed on with happiness and joy for what they were. Let their memory bring a smile to your face. That's how I remember and how I hope to be remembered. Choose celebration not despair.