this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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[–] ani@endlesstalk.org -4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Americans are mentally ill by nature. You just need to be in America and you are infected with mental illness and obesity. This is the reason why Americans are more prone to conspiracy theories including the idea that if you are fit you will fluctuate to space, thus most Americans become comorbidly obese to keep them in the Earth's ground atmosphere. The solution for this is to deny Americans having crazy children who shoot schools and other types of mass murders.

[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So it's a geological issue then?

[–] ani@endlesstalk.org 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes, it is actually a geopolitical issue that affects the biology of Americans. The Pacific Province has active volcanoes that expel smoke and when inhaled makes Americans in the region feel lightweight and as if fluctuating. The Columbia Plateau terrain is formes by basaltic lava that erupted millions years ago; this terrain has special characteristics that make it smoother than other types, so Americans feel like fluctuating instead of being in the ground. The Appalachian Highlands were formed by colliding the North America Plate with the African and Eurasian plates, so when American walk through these places they feel like being in a continent other than North America. The list goes on, but we shall also remember America is a capitalist neoliberal country which is a modern framework for society, so Americans are very stressed out by this system that's very different from when they were hunter-gatherers; this difference creates an environment prone to the development of mental illness and believing in conspiracy theories. The result: children shooting schools.

[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh I am fully aware of the basaltic flows of the Pacific North West and elsewhere, mind you, but how do you feel about Deccan traps?