this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And why would you be ridiculed and scorned for opening up emotionally?

because people are mean and repeat the mean things that have been done to them, and difficult emotions make people uncomfortable and one way to avoid them is punishing people who do open up

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I do not have the experience of being punished for opening up. Who has punished you for it?

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're starting to sound hostile towards people who suffered

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, I just don't understand it.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The vibe you're giving is "I didn't experience that, so you must be confused.'

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Okay? But I literally said the opposite of that?

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And as far as I can tell, the only one here being hostile would be you.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Your evidence is... the comment i responded to? Not very compelling. It doesn't feature you giving any sympathy, just saying you don't get it. And the implication thus far is that you simply can't conceive of it happening. Not the most empathetic stance, is it?

It reminds me of the guys that claim sexism no longer exists, asking "but where is there any sexism?" And then shooting down all examples as not counting, continuing to ask "where is this sexism?"

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well then I guess it's good that I'm not asking for sympathy. Just an explanation. Thankfully, people other than you were kind enough to give explanations.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I have no idea why you thought I claimed you were looking for sympathy. You must not have actually read it properly. I said you are not giving sympathy. And yeah - I didn't give you an explanation, exactly because other people have. That's kinda the point I was making - others have already explained it to you, and your bewildered "oh golly gee, people aren't that mean!" attitude struck me as resisting to believe people can actually be so cruel. Not just aghast at it, but refusing to actually believe they are telling the truth and not just mistaken.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Please quote me refusing to believe they are telling the truth.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Literally every response of yours to people explaining how they were abused for showing emotion.

Your first comment, especially:

And why would you be ridiculed and scorned for opening up emotionally?

None of this meme makes sense to me.

Stop making this more complicated than it actually is. Accept the criticism and grow as a person.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So I never actually said I didn't believe anyone and you were just lying. Got it.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You don't see how that comes across as challenging the truth of their story?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have told you point blank that I am not challenging their stories. More than once.

So you are refusing to believe I am telling the truth.

Let me guess- that doesn't make you a hypocrite, because you refusing to believe I'm telling the truth is totally different.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have told you point blank that I am not challenging their stories. More than once.

I didn't actually say you were, though. Just that you "gave off that vibe" and "came across that way".

So you are refusing to believe I am telling the truth.

No, you're refusing to interpret your tone.

Let me guess- that doesn’t make you a hypocrite, because you refusing to believe I’m telling the truth is totally different.

I'm not saying you're lying, or saying you accused them of lying.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, you’re refusing to interpret your tone.

I literally told you, I was confused. You won't accept that for some reason. No one else seems to be having this problem with what I said but you.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Acting confused in the face of someone telling you their problems, and responding that you've never experienced that, gives off the vibe that you don't believe them. Remember, my first didn't say that you were actually being hostile. I said you were starting to sound hostile. It was a warning. Can we leave this yet? It's really not that important.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're the one who revived this after three days, so you tell me. Can we leave this? You apparently thought it was important enough to come back to days later.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

What point do you think you're making? That I should check the age of replies in my inbox before replying to them? What age is the max - 2 days or something? I didn't know how old it was.

EDIT: I just checked - nope, you are the one who waited 3 days to reply.

Also, nice distraction technique, changing the subject. So you're not going to contest the tone that your comment conveyed? That is as much of an admission as I need.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

EDIT: I just checked - nope, you are the one who waited 3 days to reply.

What it looks like, after I have actually bothered really check (unlike you) is that it took three days for reddthat.com and lemmy.world to sync up.

Also, nice distraction technique, changing the subject.

I didn't change the subject, I directly addressed something you said, which was: "Can we leave this yet? It’s really not that important." Accusing someone of distracting or changing the subject when they respond to something you said is highly dishonest, and I think you know that.

So you’re not going to contest the tone that your comment conveyed?

I will contest your subjective interpretation of my "tone" (I'm not even sure how you can get someone's tone from text) when you accept that my only intent here was to understand something I didn't understand. Something you have yet to accept.

So do you want this to end or not? The fact that you keep replying suggests you don't. Prove me wrong and don't reply to this.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What it looks like, after I have actually bothered really check (unlike you) is that it took three days for reddthat.com and lemmy.world to sync up.

Nice unsupported claim. I see a comment of mine with a comment of yours replying three days later. No ambiguity there.

I didn’t change the subject, I directly addressed something you said,

Good that you said "something", you slippery devil, because it indeed was one thing among many, the others of which you ignored.

Accusing someone of distracting or changing the subject when they respond to something you said is highly dishonest, and I think you know that.

It's not dishonest when I mean it. And I do, because you laser focused on that one statement while ignoring the others. And this being a new subject, unrelated to the actual conversation (which, may I remind you, is about your comment appearing to be hostile, and not about how long people take to reply!!) it is clearly dishonest of you to ignore the original subject to focus in on this. My statement earlier was simply an aside, which it was it was tacked on to the end.

I will contest your subjective interpretation of my “tone”

All interpretations are subjective. I see you're trying to muddy the waters here.

(I’m not even sure how you can get someone’s tone from text)

Yet another attempt to weaken my statement without addressing it.

when you accept that my only intent here was to understand something I didn’t understand.

Did I say otherwise? No. So why should I recant a statement I didn't make?

So do you want this to end or not?

Of course.

The fact that you keep replying suggests you don’t.

How so? Prove that.

Prove me wrong and don’t reply to this.

"Prove you don't want me to rob you and give me your money willingly."

See, I can make a false ultimatum, too.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Like I thought. You don't want it to end so you replied to me again. You can't get over this idea that I just didn't understand something. You are so fixed on this weird 'tone' idea of yours. Believe it or not, you can't always accurately guess a person's tone over text that way because, believe it or not, you can't hear vocal inflections over text.

And this time it took a day to sync up.

Your instance is shit.

Looking forward to your next irate reply to sync up next Tuesday.

[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

not literally punished, but socially responded to negatively. I've been lucky that I haven't experienced it much (and even then, I still struggle to open up), but it's a very real thing. For men, one umbrella term that includes this concept is "toxic masculinity"

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, I guess all I can say is I've been lucky too. I've just never noticed any serious repercussions for showing my emotions. All I can think is that, since I was a pretty unpopular kid growing up, I gave so little of a shit about what the sort of people who would think negatively of me opening up emotionally would think about me that I just didn't notice it even though it was happening. It would have just been one more dickhead move to ignore.