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this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
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What is a "sigma male?"
And why would you be ridiculed and scorned for opening up emotionally?
None of this meme makes sense to me.
There's plenty of people that are relunctant to open up to others because they are scared of their reaction. I am one of them.
because people are mean and repeat the mean things that have been done to them, and difficult emotions make people uncomfortable and one way to avoid them is punishing people who do open up
I do not have the experience of being punished for opening up. Who has punished you for it?
You're starting to sound hostile towards people who suffered
No, I just don't understand it.
The vibe you're giving is "I didn't experience that, so you must be confused.'
Okay? But I literally said the opposite of that?
No, you didn't
And as far as I can tell, the only one here being hostile would be you.
Your evidence is... the comment i responded to? Not very compelling. It doesn't feature you giving any sympathy, just saying you don't get it. And the implication thus far is that you simply can't conceive of it happening. Not the most empathetic stance, is it?
It reminds me of the guys that claim sexism no longer exists, asking "but where is there any sexism?" And then shooting down all examples as not counting, continuing to ask "where is this sexism?"
Well then I guess it's good that I'm not asking for sympathy. Just an explanation. Thankfully, people other than you were kind enough to give explanations.
I have no idea why you thought I claimed you were looking for sympathy. You must not have actually read it properly. I said you are not giving sympathy. And yeah - I didn't give you an explanation, exactly because other people have. That's kinda the point I was making - others have already explained it to you, and your bewildered "oh golly gee, people aren't that mean!" attitude struck me as resisting to believe people can actually be so cruel. Not just aghast at it, but refusing to actually believe they are telling the truth and not just mistaken.
Please quote me refusing to believe they are telling the truth.
Literally every response of yours to people explaining how they were abused for showing emotion.
Your first comment, especially:
Stop making this more complicated than it actually is. Accept the criticism and grow as a person.
So I never actually said I didn't believe anyone and you were just lying. Got it.
You don't see how that comes across as challenging the truth of their story?
I have told you point blank that I am not challenging their stories. More than once.
So you are refusing to believe I am telling the truth.
Let me guess- that doesn't make you a hypocrite, because you refusing to believe I'm telling the truth is totally different.
I didn't actually say you were, though. Just that you "gave off that vibe" and "came across that way".
No, you're refusing to interpret your tone.
I'm not saying you're lying, or saying you accused them of lying.
I literally told you, I was confused. You won't accept that for some reason. No one else seems to be having this problem with what I said but you.
Acting confused in the face of someone telling you their problems, and responding that you've never experienced that, gives off the vibe that you don't believe them. Remember, my first didn't say that you were actually being hostile. I said you were starting to sound hostile. It was a warning. Can we leave this yet? It's really not that important.
You're the one who revived this after three days, so you tell me. Can we leave this? You apparently thought it was important enough to come back to days later.
What point do you think you're making? That I should check the age of replies in my inbox before replying to them? What age is the max - 2 days or something? I didn't know how old it was.
EDIT: I just checked - nope, you are the one who waited 3 days to reply.
Also, nice distraction technique, changing the subject. So you're not going to contest the tone that your comment conveyed? That is as much of an admission as I need.
What it looks like, after I have actually bothered really check (unlike you) is that it took three days for reddthat.com and lemmy.world to sync up.
I didn't change the subject, I directly addressed something you said, which was: "Can we leave this yet? It’s really not that important." Accusing someone of distracting or changing the subject when they respond to something you said is highly dishonest, and I think you know that.
I will contest your subjective interpretation of my "tone" (I'm not even sure how you can get someone's tone from text) when you accept that my only intent here was to understand something I didn't understand. Something you have yet to accept.
So do you want this to end or not? The fact that you keep replying suggests you don't. Prove me wrong and don't reply to this.
Nice unsupported claim. I see a comment of mine with a comment of yours replying three days later. No ambiguity there.
Good that you said "something", you slippery devil, because it indeed was one thing among many, the others of which you ignored.
It's not dishonest when I mean it. And I do, because you laser focused on that one statement while ignoring the others. And this being a new subject, unrelated to the actual conversation (which, may I remind you, is about your comment appearing to be hostile, and not about how long people take to reply!!) it is clearly dishonest of you to ignore the original subject to focus in on this. My statement earlier was simply an aside, which it was it was tacked on to the end.
All interpretations are subjective. I see you're trying to muddy the waters here.
Yet another attempt to weaken my statement without addressing it.
Did I say otherwise? No. So why should I recant a statement I didn't make?
Of course.
How so? Prove that.
"Prove you don't want me to rob you and give me your money willingly."
See, I can make a false ultimatum, too.
Like I thought. You don't want it to end so you replied to me again. You can't get over this idea that I just didn't understand something. You are so fixed on this weird 'tone' idea of yours. Believe it or not, you can't always accurately guess a person's tone over text that way because, believe it or not, you can't hear vocal inflections over text.
And this time it took a day to sync up.
Your instance is shit.
Looking forward to your next irate reply to sync up next Tuesday.
not literally punished, but socially responded to negatively. I've been lucky that I haven't experienced it much (and even then, I still struggle to open up), but it's a very real thing. For men, one umbrella term that includes this concept is "toxic masculinity"
Yeah, I guess all I can say is I've been lucky too. I've just never noticed any serious repercussions for showing my emotions. All I can think is that, since I was a pretty unpopular kid growing up, I gave so little of a shit about what the sort of people who would think negatively of me opening up emotionally would think about me that I just didn't notice it even though it was happening. It would have just been one more dickhead move to ignore.
My parents and school teachers and peers made it very clear to me that if you show emotion such as sadness, jealousy, frustration, fear, or anxiety, you were not living up to being a male and thus are weak and deserving of punishment, physical violence, and social isolation and ridicule.
Where did you grow up? That was absolutely not my experience as a kid in Indiana.
Upstate New York
Maybe it's different there, I don't know. Or maybe it was a different era? I grew up in the 80s and I just never have gotten that sort of impression from the people around me and I am not one to hide my emotions.
It was the early 2000s. Teachers would say things like “you’re acting like a girl, show everyone you are a man” and whatnot. Guess you got lucky and I’m glad to hear it.
Good times, noodle salad.
Sigma > Alpha now apparently, Alpha is the new Beta
Not to sound like a blue-haired liberal, but at least in my neck of the woods, toxic masculinity is to blame. Like, one of my favorite internet folk got bullied off the internet recently for saying he likes girls a little too enthusiastically. Some dudes will absolutely tear you apart if you are a man that exhibits anything other than stoic passivity.
I honestly can't even wrap my head around that. He was bullied off the internet for being heterosexual?
The blue haired libruls saw it as objectifying women
The chudly cuckservstive types saw it as an effeminate man being gasp not MANLY enough
And JoCats Fans sit back and wonder why everyone's so fucking butthurt at a goddamn little parody of "Boys"
JoCat likes girls, and people hate him for it. There are plenty of videos going around talking about the situation in further detail
I had to Google it and what came up seems to be it's basically a lone wolf but worded by people who also use terms like alpha male.
I may be wrong though.
The alpha male gets rebranded every time once the previous rebranding gets ridiculed to death. Can't wait to see what sigma male gets transformed to
Not really, it was supposed to be a person so above the "alpha beta" bullshit, not caring about how people perceive them, that they wrap around the "spectrum" in front of "alpha". It was meant to be a comedic / sarcastic way to rebuke toxic standards, but it was assimilated into the general "philosophy" of it.
So basically it's all bullshit anyway
It's like Alpha+ then
Alpha Pro Max Plus