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I feel you. I find them more of a hassle than anything. I could go on for a bit on why they're annoying and you're better off using another method to stay dry. None of them are "don't use an umbrella because that's gay" though as I'm not an emotionally immature middle school boy that doesn't get enough attention at home.
To each their own. My jacket does not have a hood good enough to protect me, it sometimes falls off my head, doesn't protect my nose etc. So I prefer an umbrella.
spoiler
On a side note, I can also hang out with another person under it. But that would make me pretty gay, of course.