this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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The remake was so boring that I uninstalled the game before I even finished the first mission.
I lasted a little longer but not much. It really was bad. I reinstalled it after their giant patch that was supposed to fix it and gave it a second chance: the shooting was better but the main issues with everything else were still there.
It was like they asked ChatGPT to create a Saints game.
ChatGPT did way better.
I'll be honest, that is kinda how the new Saints Row was probably pitched in the design docs.
The problem is in the details. They failed to:
In a lot of ways, the pitch document probably describe a good game. Just like ChatGPT does, there. But note how your mind is filling in that all of this would end up in the actual game, and be competently done. And that's where the actual GenZ Saints Row fell apart, too.
It was so boring I deleted my OS before the opening cutscene finished.
It was so boring I tossed my tower out a window before I even purchased it.
It was so boring I rebooted the simulation before it was even announced. Unfortunately, things don't seem to have gone any better this time around.
SR2 was the peak of the series for me. I played 3 and 4 but they already felt like they were being constrained by budget even back then. They were mostly copy pasted mini games with far fewer missions.
Yeah there's always a lot of divided audience feedback. SR2 was too serious for me still, it felt like a low-budget GTA clone and I wasn't even a GTA fan in the first place.
But SR3 and 4? They were so ridiculously over the top, they parodied the whole genre. A genre I love to see made fun of, so they were perfect for me.
SR2 just felt like the crazy Vice City sequel that Rockstar refused to give me at the time.
San Andreas, GTA4 felt too serious. SR3 and 4 felt too silly, to the point of turning into Crackdown.
GTA5 felt back on track though, and that's probably mostly down to Trevor. You can cause utter mayhem without breaking character.
3 struck the perfect balance for me, it was like playing an action movie that didn't take itself too seriously while still maintaining a tenuous grasp on reality. 4 fully jumped the shark for me and was hard to enjoy.
I didn't even bother buying it. The trailers looked so bad and then you'd have to wait for a Steam release. No thanks. When the first gameplay videos dropped it looked like absolute trash and really just rehashed all the repetitive content from the previous games, which was plentifully criticized to be a huge weakpoint of them already, with a lame story, idiotic characters and a boring map on top of it. It was just a rehash of all the bad, but I guess that's all they could pull off.
For me, the big "Nope" was how despite being a modern game and running like arse (and not looking all that well), the streets are mostly empty. I mean at the very least I would assume they could re-implement SR3 one-to-one in more ... opulent?
But instead it looks and feels worse than the older games, even in a direct comparison, because everything is dead and empty and still stutters like crazy.