I've read a decent amount of theory and the like, but I'm ashamed to say most of it has been written by straight white guys. However, I did very much enjoy Racism without Racists by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva.

Mine were "here, kitty, kitty."

TTRPGs count as gaming, right? So tell me a little about what you have going on!

I'm currently in two DND 5e campaigns.

The first one is a homebrew setting, but still pretty standard as far as DND settings go. All the usual races. My character is Velena Zausek, a level 3 half-drow draconic sorcerer. Her backstory is that her drow father escaped the Underdark when he was young, then he and her human mother went on to start a successful weaving business. One day a badly wounded man stumbled into their town and they gave him shelter, fully expecting him to die. But he miraculously recovered, and then he claimed to be a dragon in disguise. As thanks, he offered them a boon: He would ask his dragon god to bless their bloodline. Thinking he was just nuts, they accepted and thought nothing more of it... until Velena hit puberty and started growing scales and setting things on fire.

When she reached adulthood, Velena inherited the weaving business but was bored to tears by it, so she decided to set out to be an adventurer. She and her buddies just finished fighting some drow who were about to sacrifice people to perform a ritual, and I suspect we'll try to figure out what their whole deal was as our next move.

Oh, and one of the party members is a draegloth (drow monster thingy) who took one look at Velena and decided she must be in charge lmao. Velena didn't initially realize this, but upon figuring it out she is so uncomfortable with it. I'm loving roleplaying it.

The second campaign is set in the Old Margreve, though I believe the DM just borrowed the setting and isn't planning on using any of the premade stuff otherwise. This campaign is newer, so I have less to say about it, but it seems really fun so far. Amusingly enough, we're following what seem to be drow through the forest, so drow are possibly the bad guys in both my campaigns.

My character is a Tabaxi swashbuckler rogue named Wind on Water. He just hit 4th level, and if anyone has any suggestions for feats, that would be appreciated. (I already have Alert.) He doesn't have as much of a backstory as Velena, but he grew up dirt poor in a big city and is adventuring to make money for himself and his brother. He and one of the other PCs are con men who were hiding out from their last heist when they got roped into this adventure. Their game was that his companion would steal from nobles, then Wind would "catch" him and turn him in for a price before freeing him. Kind of like The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, if you've seen that.

Both Velena and Wind are a blast to play, but for very different reasons. Velena is my first DND character, so she's a lot like me because I figured that would be easier to roleplay. With Wind, I wanted to try something harder, so he's not much like me at all.

But enough about my bullshit. Tell me about your bullshit!

I don't see how politely suggesting what a racist should do with their time is "threatening violence," but even if it were, we should at least both have received warnings.

ADHD and autism are both strongly correlated with justice sensitivity. If you need an explanation for what that is, here's a quote from this article:

Justice sensitivity is the tendency to notice and identify wrong-doing and injustice and have intense cognitive, emotional, and behavioral reactions to that injustice. People who are justice sensitive tend to notice injustice more often than others, they tend to ruminate longer and more intensely on that injustice, and they feel a stronger need to restore justice.

Do y'all experience this? If so, how does it manifest?

For me, I can't see injustice and do nothing. Failing to stand up for my beliefs makes me hate myself, and I'll usually do it even if I know it's a bad idea or I'm surrounded by people who disagree--if anything, I feel more compelled to do it then. Since some of my beliefs are wildly unpopular, this often winds up in me feeling ostracized, rejected, and depressed.

I don't know what to do about this. I can't just not stand up for what I believe in--it's clearly the right thing to do. But it's a deeply unpleasant experience I keep repeating. I'll choose standing up for my beliefs over not being hurt if I have to, but that doesn't make it fun.