this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
667 points (98.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

19551 readers
1038 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 105 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well y275.8k will certainly be interesting

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

They’ll work on a solution in the year 275,759

[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 year ago

They’ll work on a solution in the year 275,759

…written in ES5, Python 2 and mostly Rust++

[–] Quoth_The_Revan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It's fun how oddly close that year is with 0°C in Kelvin: 273.15. Seeing 275.8K just instantly brought me back to chemistry...

[–] call_me_xale@lemmy.zip 80 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Bold of you to assume no one will come up with a replacement date library rather than just getting rid of JS.

[–] __init__@programming.dev 71 points 1 year ago

It’s javascript. We’ll have gone through 275,760 new datetime libraries before then, it’ll be fine.

[–] towerful@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago

String based date processing

[–] Redkey@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Of course! There's already a proposal for a replacement Temporal object.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pm_me_your_quackers@lemmy.world 63 points 1 year ago
[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

slides £20 across the table make it end tomorrow

[–] ARk@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

reserve me tickets for the inevitable shit show that follows 🍿

[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

Partitioning by integer secobds is dumb.

Just assign 0 to the start of time, 1 to the end of time, and every point between is represented by a double precision floating point number.

For all those who believe time is infinite please apply a logistic transformation to your dates.

[–] chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Um excuse me time actually already ended in 1991

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fun fact: infinities can be different sizes, such that one infinity can be larger than another.

They’re still infinities, with no end. Just of different absolute sizes. Fun stuff to rabbithole down into if you want to melt your brain on a lazy afternoon.

My nephew refuses to talk to me because of this.

He said I smelled like farts, then I said he did times 10, he replied times a hundred, I pulled out the infinity card, then he replied with times infinity plus one, activating my trap card. I sat him down and for 90 minutes, starting with binary finger counting and Cantor’s diagonalisation argument, I rigorously walked him through infinities and Aleph numbers (only the first 2 in detail, I’m not a monster).

Now he knows the proper retort (not infinity plus one, use Aleph 1). Unfortunately now he’s not sure if numbers are “real” or not because I taught him that natural numbers are the cardinal numbers.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

For all those who believe time is infinite please apply a logistic transformation to your dates.

In what unit? They're not scale invariant.

Also in case you're serious, I'm sure (by the pigeonhole principle) you'll run out of exponents just about as fast as you would run out of integers.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Also means you can't reference anything earlier than the late Pleistocene.

[–] sik0fewl@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing happens before c. 4000 AD anyway.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sorry, that's also wrong. The entire universe, in its current state, popped into existence last Tuesday. It's been terribly inconvenient tho.

[–] sik0fewl@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wish we would have popped into a better existence.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

We should never have coalesced from the quantum foam.

[–] LinuxSBC@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

I thought it was last Thursday.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago
[–] FiniteLooper@lemm.ee 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No programming language should last 200,000 years

[–] DudeDudenson@lemmings.world 16 points 1 year ago

JavaScript shouldn't have lasted as long as it has and it's still used widely

[–] viking@infosec.pub 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What people fail to see is that this is the largest date the API can store, not a magical cutoff date in the distant future.

You could create a date today and send it to the API, and it could potentially crash it, or create a buffer overrun.

[–] Redkey@programming.dev 8 points 1 year ago

The definition of the Date object explicitly states that any attempt to set the internal timestamp to a value outside of the maximum range must result in it being set to "NaN". If there's an implementation out there that doesn't do that, then the issue is with that implementation, not the standard.

[–] darcy@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago

there goes my plans to build a time machine in javascript

[–] Gentoo1337@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago

Javascript 2 release date

[–] Turun@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's because this is the maximum integer that can be stored in a double precision floating point number without loss of precision, lol

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

That's one thing that really bugs me about Javascript (weirdly enough I'm okay with eg prototypal inheritance and how this works, or at least worked before the bolted on classes that were added because apparently I'm like one of the dozen or so people who had no problems with those concepts). The fact that all numbers are floats can lead to a lot of fun and exciting bugs that people might not even realize are there until they suddenly get a weird decimal where they expected an integer

[–] dadGPT@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

please hide this. this is how john connor defeats skynet.

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

I've got a bunch of freeze dried food from my backpacking days. Who wants to jump in on a business selling Y275.76K Survival Kits?

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

past 13 September

Yes, but will that be a Friday??

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cockroaches will go extinct before JavaScript is dead

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

The last cockroach writes an AI in JavaScript to carry on the legacy

[–] jadelord@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

2036 to 2038 is gonna be wicked.

[–] SuperJetShoes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

This will be a tough one to fix. There must be millions upon millions of embedded systems out there with 16-bit epoch burned in.

They'll all be much tougher to find than "YEAR PIC(99)" in COBOL was.

Y2K wasn't a problem because thousands upon thousands of programmers worked on it well in advance (including myself) we had source code and plenty of static analysis tools, often homegrown.

The 2038 bugs are already out there...in the wild...their source code nothing but a distant dream.

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I honestly don't quite get why it's so common to hate Javascript.

I mean, it's not my favorite language to put it mildly (I prefer type systems that beat me into submission) but as far as popular dynamically typed languages go, it's not nearly the worst offender out there. Yes, lol, weird things equal weird things when you use == but that's not exactly unique among dynamic languages, and some people couldn't come to terms with it not being like Java despite the name so they never bothered learning how prototypal inheritance works, and also who the fuck needed both null and undefined when either of those by itself is already a mistake and introducing them to a language should be grounds for a nice, solid kick to the groin.

But, warts and all, the implementations are generally reasonably performant as far as these things go, the syntax is recognizable because eg. braces are common whether we like them or not and notably also survives copy-pasting from eg. the internet or anything that doesn't use the same whitespace you do, and it'll happily let you write code in a quite multiparadigm way, leading to some people to insist Javascript is kind of like Scheme and other people to insist Javascript is nothing like Scheme.

So, shit could be worse. And by "shit" and "worse" I mean eg. Python, notable for achievements such as: being one of the first if not the first language with a designer who huffed enough solvents to think that semantically significant whitespace is a great idea especially combined with no real standardization on whether you need to use tabs or spaces, and which often doesn't survive being copy-pasted from the web and is a nightmare to format; being unable to actually run anything in parallel up until very recently because lol why bother with granular locking in the runtime when you can just have one global interpreter lock and be done with it; or being popular in part due to the fact that its FFI makes it easy to write modules for it in languages that aren't a crime against common sense and can run faster and more parallel than an 80's BASIC interpreter. And let's not even go into the whole "virtual environment" thing.

So while Python's not quite INTERCAL-bad, at least INTERCAL doesn't have significant whitespace and its manuals are really damn funny.

And then there's eg. Ruby, with 9999 ways to do everything and all of them so slow that it aspires to one day be as fast as INTERCAL, and PHP which is a practical joke that went too far and somehow managed to eventually convince people it's actually a real language.

edit: oh and if you don't know about INTERCAL, I can highly recommend checking out the the C-INTERCAL revision's manual, which includes eg. a very helpful circuitous diagram and a logical table to explain one of its more odd operators. There's also a resource page that's maintained by one of the perpetrators of the C-INTERCAL revision.

[–] tiny_electron@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This reads like a copy pasta

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Asudox@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Well, I am comfortable leaving the upcoming disaster this will cause to the next generations.

[–] XTornado@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Too far away for my comfort.

[–] sergih@feddit.de 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TangledHyphae@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Be sure to cross-post it to the Usenet group for visibility.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We survived the 2000 crash, we will survive this

[–] mckean@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Maybe by then my system will have recovered from this unresponsive javascript page

load more comments
view more: next ›