71
Nothing. I've read enough Monkey's Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.
Poof, you now have nothing
That's still a step up for some people
You end up with a genie begging you to make a wish every waking moment of your life, ala "three thousand years of longing"
load more comments
(2 replies)
I'd get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.
Then I'd probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.
Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.
Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.
If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren't there to follow the law, they're there to see that the contract is logistically sound.
If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there's really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he's just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
load more comments
(4 replies)
I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!
There are far too many ways for an immortality wish to make your life hell in ways that a money wish uh, wishes it could.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Enjoy living to see the heat death of the universe in 10^100 years or so.
Immortality has its own set of complications. Like seeing everyone you love die. Out living the earth, solar system. Being stuck for eternity in the heat death of the universe. I mean, I guess a longer life but not immortal might be desirable. Personally, my only wish would be to live comfortably.
“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think
there is no intentional curse but making you immortal is what the average human wishes for. Genie argues that it's truly a bonus. You live a normal natural life, but instead of dying, you keep living. The money stops, and you live forever. Having to return to work after not working your entire life.
I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.
Granted. You’re now a masochist.
Sure, that works. Curse me harder, daddy. Because of you, I like it.
Granted. But you didn't wish anything for yourself so nothing happens to you or for you. The next person to meet the genie enjoys the outcome of their wish.
I would wish for a better genie.
A genie emerges that's even better at cursing your whish
A genie emerges from the lamp, and promises to try to curse you less
Darn, I thought I nailed that one.
Hm, sound like abuse of power to me. I'd wish for the genie to lose the ability to grant wishes. It needs to be cursed though, so I'd have to help with that.
Since it can still offer wishes, just not grant them... I'd help it learn to code. It could have a bright future as the CTO of a tech startup in the next hype cycle. I would not invest.
I wonder how many times this has already happened.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Whatever bad thing happens to me, the same will happen to the genie twice.
I just hope he's not a masochist.
Considering the high probability the djinn has spent centuries locked inside a small vessel, completely alone, the chances roll towards harboring sadistic wishes of revenge.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I wish for the genie to have never existed in the first place.
Thanks for the paradox bub.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Police to always be lawful good
Teen suicide rate multiplies after the police destroy youth culture with constant surveillance.
load more comments
(1 replies)
"I wish for whatever I would get if an alternate version of me who were much smarter, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, less selfish, much less short sighted, much more creative and much more prepared to word the perfect wish, WHILE STILL BEING ME with my values, goals, principles and desires were making a wish from an alternate version of YOU who tries to bless wishes, instead of cursing them."
(also, I know how to fuck this one up)
Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else's health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you've proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I wouldn't wish. Shit always goes bad. Best cass scenario I learn a "valuable lesson" through some kinda hackneyed adventure. In the worst case scenario I'm cursed for eternity or some shit
Destroy capitalism
I'll be able to handle the curse if capitalism is also destroyed
load more comments
(3 replies)
Different genie
You get a different genie who doesn't grant any wishes.
I wish for a new genie that grants wishes successfully but never tries or succeeds in cursing my wishes.
Granted. You didn't specify where, so it exists somewhere within the universe.
Good luck. Even twisted, Good fortune is always a boon worth having.
I wish for all of the intentions I have which will positively affect me and others will come to fruition without effort.
None of your intentions that benefit you alone (playing a video game, satisfying a food craving) come to fruition anymore. Your other intentions that benefit at least one other person cause maximum harm to others as well. You basically just wished yourself an unending variation of "the monkey's paw"
Damn, broke me with an and/or issue.
load more comments
(3 replies)
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
71 points (93.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43394 readers
1172 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS