What they have in common is that they're both extremely smooth
this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2025
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Orcas are the biggest of the dolphins, and they are nightmare fuel for anything they decide is food.
Are you a great white shark that just smelled an orca? Better nope out to the other side of the planet before the orca eats your liver.
Are you a seal just swimming along? Oops, an orca just yeeted you 30 ft into the air with a tail slap, and is going to eat your stunned ass when you land.
Are you a smart seal who thinks they're safe on the ice? Nope. Orcas will break up the ice and knock you off using waves.
Are you a grown ass moose casually going for a swim without a worry in the world? Forgot about one of your only natural predators. Now you've been eaten by an orca.
There's a reason they're called killer whales!
Story time. A couple years ago, we were sailing off the US east coast around South Carolina, and as you do in that situation, we were trailing a fishing line behind the boat in hopes of catching something. Suddenly, we were surrounded by dolphins giving us a show, jumping in the waves, playing around the bow, all that jazz. The kids were delighted, we were taking pictures and videos and generally enjoying ourselves when we noticed some splashing a little distance behind the boat. We pulled up the fishing line only to find that the lure and tackle were missing. Looks like the sneaky fuckers were distracting us while they stole our dinner!
Do you think they knew it was your fish and not just fish that were in the ocean? Not sure they can make that connection.
Only one of these creatures has "decapitated a fish to use as a Fleshlight" on their resume.
How did y- oh, you're talking about the dolphin. Yes. There dolphin did that 👀
Dolphins would fuck your family dude, those things are godless
This reminds me of the dolphin jokes that Lower Decks got away with in almost every season. Dolphins + Universal Translator = Instant workplace harassment.
They need Jeeezus!
OMG. Wait. If we ever do try to figure out how to translate their language...
Someone is going to actually try to teach them Christianity. I guarantee it. It's inevitable.
Feel like they have ATHF Hand Banana energy.
"What do you think he means by that? 'Tonight, you'? Like it's some kinda threat?"
I grew up being taught that dolphins are like dogs that swim and orcas are dangerous.
Turns out orcas love humans and refuse to attack us unless we are being flaming assholes and dolphins are just born evil.
Dolphins are assholes.
Huffing Pufferfish and taping seals.
Also, sharks side eye and look very cuddly :3
Media media
so long and thanks for all the fish