I'll never financially recover from this.
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These performative bills are so dumb; you can't shame the shameless. Republicans are open hypocrites. You think they care about this?
Push laws for actual protections against people being hurt
Absolutely will not happen in Ohio, the only way the statehouse could do anything beneficial for it's citizens would be to have a massive gas leak
They are too busy hurting people.
They aren't trying to shame anyone. They are just trying to get thier own names on the news. You mistake these poloticians for people who care about others.
the fake christians of America prove why freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.
Would be nice if we had an actual opposition party to, you know, put in bills to oppose the massive abuse of power that's been going on for a while now. Instead we get frumpy faces, folded arms, an occasional angry letter, moral victories, and of course the "that'll show 'em" bills.
I can't wait for it to pass
Woe's Hollow
That's a lot of overdraft fees. Just gonna make me masturbate even harder though.
Their bill has some exceptions, as it says men in Ohio will not be fined if they are using birth control, donating sperm, masturbating, or having sex with another man or member of the LGBTQ+ community. The bill is specifically aimed at men having straight sex without protection who do not then create a baby.
Honestly that's fairly reasonable
Doing some quick math, I have in my possession a 1.2 billion dollar RATM tshirt with Che’s eye stuck together for good.
This is uh...quite biblical actually, as someone got executed for this. They should make it punishable by exexution while they are at it. Why be a theocratic distopia only half-way?
We could pay down the national debt in about 4 hours.
A lot of men will need ~~bank~~ spank loans.
New business opportunity!
New fintech startup, Wankr, provides loans at 2400% to pay your wank-fines.
....Now to get $300 million in Series-A funding.
They should quit trolling and start resisting. Gesture politics is a displacement activity.
I mean tbf the GOP has a supermajority in the Ohio House so there's probably not much she can do other than trolling.
How about proposing actual progressive legislation that would help her constituents, and calling out the Republicans who oppose it?
Not true. She could take a page from AOC's book and inform the people of their rights and how to resist the fascist administration AND troll the fascists for their ignorant reactions.
Ohio voters recently passed a constitutional amendment guaranteeing abortion rights, so writing that bill here is certainly mostly a signal to national politics.
Also, I had a vasectomy, so would I still be able to wank away under the proposed bill? lol
Which is great until you remember that the religious right is okay with that idea
As well as with homosexuality. People should definitely learn about the history of sodomite. Gang bangs of pastor were a thing.
It'd legitimately be hilarious if they introduced it on the House floor and the general response was, "Oh, yeah, this is perfect!" and it somehow passed.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Their bill has some exceptions, as it says men in Ohio will not be fined if they are using birth control, donating sperm, masturbating, or having sex with another man or member of the LGBTQ+ community.
The bill is specifically aimed at men having straight sex without protection who do not then create a baby. (emphasis added)
Pro gooners are fine because they never cum /s
the term "moneyshot" gets a whole new meaning
That just makes having a wank more thrilling, getting close knowing you're about to reach a 100 grand fine that day.
America, edging its way to a theocracy.