this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 123 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Just got back from the vet because my dog got into my roommates stash. Good news—she’s going to be fine, but she’s going to be deeply stoned for a long, long time.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 64 points 5 days ago (3 children)

You should talk in a happy, but slow voice, and walk/move in slow motion. And get your room mate to do it too.

Hhhhheeeyyyyy bbbbbuuuuudddddyyyyy. Yyyooouuuuu wwwaaaannnnnaaaa ggggooooo ffffoooorrrrr aaaaa wwwaaaallllkkkk?

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Then make sudden jerky movements right at the dog. Nothing could go wrong.

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[–] Tyfud@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It takes a surprisingly large amount of weed to hit the LD50 point for dogs out turns out. Somewhere around 1 gram per pound of body weight.

But yeah, they do not handle it well at all.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 17 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Our vet said they have never lost a dog before to this, but it’s 12 hours later and she is still stoned.

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 18 points 4 days ago

Once you have crossed a certain amount of ingested THC it only prolongs the effects but doesn't make them stronger. I've heard of people being high for over 24 hours from a miscalculated edible dosage

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 108 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Neighbors: “ACAB!”

Dog: “Please, I’m retired.”

[–] Luccus@feddit.org 93 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

These two are cool tho'.

If you are non-german or OOTL: One refuses to bite a demonstrator (who is protesting against Nazis) even though it is literally shoved into one, and the other one just bites another cop.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 52 points 4 days ago

Oh look, animal abuse.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago

Fucking rofl. The dogs are more moral than those bastards.

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[–] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

The real ACAB is the police department dumping a retired K9 at the pound.

Yeah throw away a living animal once you no longer have use for it why don't you

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[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"and all the innocent people you helped lock up? Are they happily retired?"

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago
[–] MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 71 points 4 days ago (9 children)

Are those branches drying in the bathroom? Does that work? I'd think the high moisture after showering would ruin the drying process every time.

[–] stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de 73 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Maybe they just don't shower

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 65 points 4 days ago

Oh, cool, I didn't know my old roommate was on Lemmy.

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

A half gallon of patchouli oil will get rid of the smell!

[–] SeekPie@lemm.ee 41 points 4 days ago

Maybe it's a separate 2nd bathroom they don't really use, idk?

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[–] NastyNative@mander.xyz 34 points 4 days ago

or he wants a hit you greedy basta...

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Put the food bowl in there. He’ll feel validated, like he hit the jackpot/final level, and it will desensitise him. 2 birds.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 62 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"JUST DOIN' MY JOB"

[–] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 42 points 4 days ago

Either an ex cop dog, or an ex grower’s dog

[–] owl@infosec.pub 23 points 4 days ago (4 children)

What do you think of my business idea of dogtoys that smell like illegal stuff, so you can train your dog to sniff out things. You have a ball and it smells like cocaine (there is no cocain in there), but you can hide it and train your dog now to sniff out cocaine, just for the fun of it. And there is one, that smells like explosives, one for marijuana, one for meth and so on.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The real idea is to treasure those scents and spray them on all kinds of random shit.

If the damn dog reacts to a bunch of items that aren't weed, then you have grounds to challenge any searches conducted based on the dog's reaction.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This actually isn't far removed from the reality we already have, it's found many of the dogs are specifically trained not to accurately detect things, but to give the reaction that allows a cop to move forward in order to create probable cause.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

A well trained dog in controlled lab conditions is about 80% accurate iirc a dog in practice is far less than 50% accurate.

[–] owl@infosec.pub 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean at the airport the dog identifies you suitcase and the officers then search the suitcase. Not sure how you could trick the dogs then.
I suppose you could do it at your home, but that's not useful either for the same reasons.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thousands of people all treating their perfectly-innocent suitcases with the stuff will generate a false-positive rate high enough that it'll make the dogs' signals unusable as probable cause.

[–] owl@infosec.pub 1 points 3 days ago

That could work, but why would anyone do that?

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

People do train and compete with their dogs in scent work but they use essential oils. So there may be a market for scented toys but probably not for illegal stuff.

Also I'm not sure accidentally busting a drug trafficker is the key to a long healthy life lol.

[–] owl@infosec.pub 2 points 3 days ago

That makes more sense I suppose. Even if something just looks or smells illegal, it can still cause trouble.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

and then I can take my dog for walks and get some really cool free shit like weed, or cocaine, or lead...

[–] owl@infosec.pub 6 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Is it an urban legend, that people have hidden stashes in public?

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You’ll never find hidden stashes of weed or cocaine. However the stashes of lead will find you if you follow your dog towards stashes of weed or cocaine.

[–] owl@infosec.pub 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What are stashes of lead? Have read that here before.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Bullets. We’re talking about bullets.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

only one way to find out!

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[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You could make toys that smell like low blood sugar, or a seizure? Useful and still a good business model.

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[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago

Maybe his former owner was a stoner and he likes the way it smells.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 18 points 4 days ago

Dogmeat found something.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

Almost makes you forget about the bipartisan police state.

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