this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Darrell_Winfield@lemmy.world 226 points 1 week ago (21 children)

Hi gang! Doctor here, trained at and still work at the local "Rectal Foreign Body Center of Excellence", so I feel somewhat qualified to give my professional opinion.

Yes, nothing without a flared base should be used in this fashion. BUT, there's pretty much no risk for harm here. Mechanical obstruction is unlikely because, as OP says, it'll get mushy and get pooped out. Bananas aren't much of an irritant like a citrus fruit, so not much risk for chemical damage. Someone else said there might be a risk of potassium overdose, but not really. The rectum does absorb, but not as much as the stomach. So while some potassium will be absorbed, this is at worst equivalent to eating the same number of bananas. Which won't harm you.

So not a big risk here. That being said, flared bases, everyone!

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hope you remind friends, family, and colleagues about the importance of flared bases every holiday season. It's the type of progressive service the people need but don't realize yet. Stay #based and blesst y'all

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[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Thank you foe your answer. I don't believe in god, but if I did I'd ask them to bless you. 🫡

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[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (5 children)

What about if the mushy banana is rotting? How bad does it have to rot to start to do something to your asshole?

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[–] kungen@feddit.nu 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But how much radiation will it cause? A banana gives you like 0.1 μSv when eaten, but can it be more/less when it's up there?

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

spends less time in your body, less radiation.

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[–] nesc@lemmy.cafe 222 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Imagine you are running a marathon and someone ahead of you losses three bananas that were stuffed in their ass.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 158 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"it's Mario kart all over!"

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

This explains where bullet bill comes from!

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[–] Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win 62 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Imagine sitting in the doctor's office and someone nearby lets out a ripper and the whole office suddenly smells like banana bread.

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[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

"Are we going passed a zoo? I smell mashed bananas.

Oh fuck, what is running down that person's leg right now‽"

[–] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This shit is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s

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[–] leonine@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 week ago

When life goes banana, u shove em up ur ass and run a marathon.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Doesn't the colon absorb vitamins better or something? Could you overdose with anal bananas?

[–] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I suppose it's possible. The amount of absorption is going to depend on what specifically is 'in there.' Most vitamins (for example) have been separated from their pre-eaten location/environment by the physical mastication, churning, and compression; and by chemical means by chelation agents, acid/enzyme digestion, or other molecules that break apart lipid blobs and such; and even more importantly, are done in areas designed for absorption with lots of villi to give a million times the surface area. Alcohol, the oft-given example of a substance absorbed by the rear part of your gastric tube, is a fairly 'ready to be absorbed' compound. Suppositories are also similarly in a state that makes their active agents easily absorbed.

A whole bananal probably is going to be absorbed like a rock through a 5mm sieve. The bacteria in the rectum might start the process, breaking down the cells and matrix of the banana into readily absorbed compounds, but if you've ever seen an organic object like an apple or banana rot outside somewhere, it is a very slow process. You'll be much more likely to suffer some form of infection/sepsis from the bloom of bacteria (or the smaller chance of a fungal infection) long before enough of the banana is absorbed.

All of this is even more true if the OP was shoving them still in their skins in. The bananal skin will definitely be a very slow degradation, and absorb like an intelligent thought into the president elect.

[–] nilaus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Bananal skin gave me the giggles👍🍌

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

IIRC the large intestine and colon is more about water resorption than nutrient absorption, and while potassium is a very dangerous electrolyte, I'm doubtful that much of it will get absorbed at all, even if 1 banana could do any damage to the average person with working kidneys.

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[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is funnier now that I see we are in the science sub lmao

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 19 points 1 week ago

This one goes out to people that work in healthcare, like my sister. The stories she has lmao.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd say you need a more varied ass diet. Broccoli. Hummus. Pineapple. Trout.

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[–] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 22 points 1 week ago

Needs a flared base.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 16 points 1 week ago

How much banana can an ass hold, Michael?

10?

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I'm afraid I really don't know, Mr. Kipchoge, I just wanted an autograph."

[–] azi@mander.xyz 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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I don’t want to know how…but I really want to know how at the same time.

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