im a fish

That's a lot of self awareness for a fish

I hate how much I laughed at this. I’m never growing up.

Oh lol common misconception, the Surgeon General and by extension the Sturgeon General are not real General Positions because they are Navy Ranks, therefor they are Admirals. Hope that clears everything up.

Curious fact I just learned from the Wikipedia page about sturgeons — apparently there is a Catholic Saint, Amalberga of Temse (also known as Amalia or Amelia), who is said to have escaped to safety by crossing a river on the back of a giant sturgeon after King Charlemagne made her an offer of marriage she couldn’t (as in, wasn’t supposed to) refuse.

She is commonly depicted riding a sturgeon, which might provide some explanation as to how he obtained the rank of general…

“Good-morning, good-morning!” the General said

When we met him last week on our way to the line.

Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of 'em dead,

And we're cursing his staff for incompetent swine.

“He's a cheery old card,” grunted Harry to Jack

As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack.

But he did for them both by his plan of attack.

STÖRung

I dunno. That sounds like a Sturgeon's General Warning.

I am just a fish

What about the sturgeon specific?

The species is a very old design relative other species. It's had much more time to rise through the ranks.

Sturgeon '28.

Ha! I get it!

Caviar ain't cheap

Meh, knowing Trump he probably nominated a sturgeon not understanding the Job requirements.

you became general because there was a bright light above the generals cabin next to your hole you normally lurk under beneath the stone at the bend in the river, the general leaned too far over peering down at you while out on a smoke break and fell in and tragically drowned, the peculiar thing was as he was sinking and thrashing about his uniform came off and landed on top of you, the alien enveloping of the sinking garments spooked you and you shot clear out of the water and through the still open door of the cabin right into an austere but plush leather chair behind a monsterously large desk. The next moment the guards rushed in having heard a commotion and were relieved to find the general had clearly only went for an imprompto nightime dip in the river after foolishly slipping and falling... and to hide an embarassment had quickly leaped out and returned inside putting on a blank neutral expression to try to hide it as if they weren't clearly slimey and dripping wet.

Since then you have been doing a great job honestly shrugs

Right? Obviously a sturgeon would be an Admiral

Still better than Nesheiwat.