I know and have some friends who are diagnosed with NPD. It doesn't affect how I treat them. A diagnosis is just a piece of paper at the end of the day, and there's no reason to treat someone differently based on whether or not they have a particular sheet of paper. I act according to people's behaviour.
this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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I wish more people were like you and your friends. Although I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's just words on a sheet of paper. That's like saying that a sentence is just words out of a Judges mouth but still, a personality disorder is a disorder like one else. Like not being able to walk or having autism. Sure, it may effect how I interact with the world but it doesn't define me and I can improve myself but most people wouldn't believe that considering how much the media has demonized NPD.
If you hadn't been diagnosed, would the behaviours the psychiatrist deemed "narcissistic" not exist in you? Behaviours don't suddenly manifest upon diagnosis. Diagnoses are a way of pathologising and, ultimately, punishing differences, especially ones which are contrary to capitalist productivity. Diagnoses are definitely not objective assessments of dysfunction: see, for obvious examples, the hysteria diagnosis, the now nonexistent diagnosis of homosexuality/homophilia, or the entirely bullshit racist diagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder (diagnosed as ADHD in white boys, of course). Even taken at their most benign and apolitical, diagnoses are still human-made categorisations of observed behaviour. The vast majority of psychiatric diagnoses describe a set of commonly co-occuring symptoms, not a root cause or a particular structural anomaly in the brain; they aren't any more of a natural discrete category than creating a category of white people with blonde hair and blue eyes, since those symptoms tend to co-occur.
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Exactly how I feel about being aspd (sociopathic)
I would judge them heavily in my head and pay very close attention to them to be aware of any attempts at manipulation or anything of the sort.
I understand it's a complex diagnosis and has many facets that aren't inherently negative but ignoring the large parts that are inherently negative would be putting yourself in jeopardy.
But as someone with a diagnosis with the same level of negative connotation I'd be more understanding but still wary.
Not every narcissist is a monster just like not every sociopath is a monster despite the general opinion on the matter.
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Depends on how you frame it.
βIβm a certified asshole and thatβs why Iβm trying to change.β
or
βIβm certified awesome and you should know any problems are really your fault.β
In my experience, I've known long before they did.
I think unfortunately you do need to have a lot of pre-emptory remarks prepared. The key things to cover are to establish your self-awareness and then discuss some of the triggers of your difficult behaviors and how you want others to feel empowered to address them.
This isn't one-to-one with a cluster b disorder, but I struggle a lot with compulsively making mean comments. With new friends, I have a short speech explaining it, how I share my true thoughts, and encouraging them to directly speak to me if they feel upset or offended. Sadly, it doesn't work all the time and more people bounce off sooner, but the people who do stay around it has been possible to build more secure and healthy friendships with.
It might be helpful to find a similar process for yourself.
If someone seemed to have insight into the disorder it's one thing. The trouble is a lot of cluster B in general don't. My mother has BPD and has a violent lack of insight into her problems, and some of my patients too. They are vicious miserable manipulative people who only exist to seek negative attention from others. But people who do have insight seem to do ok.
I'd be really curious about what is really means and how you manage or cope with it. If I knew you for a while it would be just another thing to file away about your personality. It probably is something you would share with people you are close to, but you may need to educate them on what it means.
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Hope he's not a serial killer
I've been in this scenario twice.
First time is a close friend of mine. Specifically he said he had BPD, a variation of NPD (traditional psychological wisdom says if he was assigned male at birth, it would be classic NPD). It was one of those things he slowly "revealed" to me, perhaps to see how I would react, I don't know. I would not judge him for something like that, I'm not one of those people who thinks of others in terms of what they "are" but rather what they "do" (I would rather adapt to things others dismiss as I believe in nuance, is it not the most human of experiences). He has a lot of baggage stemming from that, from his parents who are on-and-off abusive (NPD heritage maybe), from the DID that came from it, from transphobia, and from their whole family growing up outside the local theocratic status quo. I don't care that he expresses all that in an extreme way where others ridicule or question his state of mind, who am I or anyone else if we only address interpersonal matters on a surface level? If Eridan is observing me talk about him in this way, I hope he knows he is loved and always has a place with me.
The other time this happened, it happened with a friend of mine who I know from my idol (an author I like, who also put me in her social circle, which is awesome). This friend is the Benson to my idol's Pops and is closer with her than he is with me, though he has taken an interest with me because I'm the only perpetually active non-trans female in the group (yes, the idol herself is trans too, male to female this time, the implication of me having a transdar has made me question if I'm trans before hence certain references) and he is lonely. We know we can talk to each other about anything, and that's how I found out he has NPD. He came to me one day and just said "hey I went to the doctor to get tested, turns out I have NPD". Despite his high standards, some of the conclusions he comes to when life gets him down, and the fact he and the other friend I mention absolutely hate each other (go figure), if being there for him exudes a welcome difference I can make in their world, he and his issues have my dedication. I see my friends as people with souls that are silently and critically wary of how things play out on the surface in ways they can only hope to fully connect themselves with.