this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] GreenSkree@lemmy.world 185 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help...

Standard plan:

  • 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

Premium plan:

  • 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
  • Ad Free!

Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

  • Mouse acceleration toggle
  • 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
  • Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
  • AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
  • Cloud backup*

*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

Edit: formatting

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks Satan

[–] bangsnooter@lemmy.zip 39 points 3 weeks ago

This hurts to read.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?

[–] tja@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago

No, you can't disable AI, because "people want that" ™

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 137 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This is close enough to reality that I'm irritated.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 58 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 42 points 3 weeks ago

I didn't believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake...

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[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 98 points 3 weeks ago

Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 75 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)
[–] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that's still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn't shit, it lasts forever anyways.

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it

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[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 64 points 3 weeks ago

It's all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it's the new norm.

[–] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 60 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

One man's meme is another monster's inspiration

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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 58 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.

[–] Gorusnor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

You can, but it's 10 cents a click!

[–] KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just buy a second mouse. C'mon dude, it's like you're not even trying to pay!

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago

puts dollar near CD drive

it actually takes it

Holy shit.

I have a CD drive!

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[–] cmrn@lemmy.world 50 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan

[–] Anti_Iridium@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!

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[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a good thing that market is so saturated that there'd always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you're some sort of MMO mouse person.

That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don't need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's why they'll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 12 points 3 weeks ago

Hahaha, Windows, lol.

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I'm sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.

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[–] fox@feddit.org 29 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Living in 2024, I'm not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that's taxes!

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[–] udon@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago

Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra "click safety" package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. "Good" and "ethical" advertisers can get in touch with the "business communication" office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because "their ads are okay"

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

idk I've been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn't much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can't stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can't take one more ad for that crypto exchange

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It is often fun choosing to read "clicks" as "dicks" due to how similar they look. Imagin' you getting 10,000's of dicks via LoL every month.

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

10,000 dicks a month from lol is rookie numbers, honestly.

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[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Vim users: *entirely unaffected*

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They won't even see the ad because they can't get out of Vim.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

How do I click an option when my clicks are already used up? 🤔

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Tab over to it and hit Enter

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[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The image is of a Logitech MX master. But yes the meme is very HP coded.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it's a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven't experienced anything that's particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 13 points 3 weeks ago

What will Premium Plus get for me?

img

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.

[–] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I've had mine since 2004. I've replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It's still going strong.

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[–] Toes@ani.social 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

move those decimals over one.

Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.

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[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
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