this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You all are overthinking it way too much.

Most people hate anything that's different or uncommon to themselves and their "world".

Simple as that.

It's heterophobia in the semantic sense of the word "fear of anything that's different".

[–] __Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 51 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 48 minutes ago (2 children)

I always thought that xenos was more refering to people from outside, like physically from a different place.

But I really know nothing about words, greek, latin or whatever. So it will probably be a better choice of words.

[–] quafeinum@lemmy.world 1 points 18 minutes ago

That’s heresy.

[–] SolOrion@sh.itjust.works 1 points 13 minutes ago

"other; different in origin." is the meaning of xeno.

So.. it kinda fits, it kinda doesn't.

Far simpler than whateveryone else is saying. The best way to rally humans to your side is to give them a common enemy. So conservative politicians picked enemies that are small in number and told everyone how they are to blame for all that is wrong in the world.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 0 points 40 minutes ago
[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 40 minutes ago (1 children)

Fascists are cowards who attack the most vulnerable people as a standard tactic.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 2 points 13 minutes ago

And after they exterminate one group, they move onto another

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 53 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

For a simple example: my mother is Catholic and until Trump came along, a lifelong single-issue Republican voter who always said she would be a Democrat if it weren't for abortion. She attends church in an extremely progressive, famously LGBTQ-friendly town.

There's a transwoman who attends her church (let's call her Rita). This lady is probably in her mid-50s to mid-60s and has been a fixture at the church for at least 5 years. My mom has been in choir and bible study groups with her for years now. She still just can't see Rita as a woman. Treats her politely but behind her back refuses to call her "she" and says she's a "man in a dress".

She's really offended that Rita uses the ladies' room. I've asked her why and she can't articulate it, she just feels like it's an invasion of her privacy, because men don't belong in the ladies' room. And when I point out that Rita isn't a man, she just rolls her eyes. I've asked her if she's worried that Rita is in there for predatory purposes and she admits that she doesn't think Rita intends any harm. I've asked her how she'd feel if she were forced to use the men's room and she says "but that's different!"

My mom prides herself in being a moral person, and still can't manage to get past her bigotry to see Rita as a woman. There are just too many mental blockades against it. But since she thinks she's so highly moral, she thinks she must be correct in this situation. It excuses her from finding empathy and bettering her attitude toward trans folks.

My longwinded point is that when people who consider themselves highly moral are bigoted, there's almost zero chance of getting through to them. And I think a lot of the people who are bigoted against trans folks feel that morality is on their side and being trans is morally deviant, so they think they're justified in their prejudice.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 1 points 11 minutes ago

That's been my similar experience with the Zionist Jews in my family.

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

Conservatives use fear to manipulate their constituents as their primary means to rally support. A minority scapegoat many of their supporters don't know in person, like trans people, are easily demonized by politicians and clergy to pretend trans folks are pedophiles and sex assaulters projecting their own party and priest crimes, it's the same thing they try to do with fear mongering homosexuals as a previous scapegoat to distract and deflect from their awful policy privileging the wealth class and harming poor and middle class people, they need someone to blame for their own awful behavior and choices.

[–] MaxPow3r11@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

It seems like it's always projection with these fascists.

They are the ones whose "party" is full of violent sexual predators. They will never bring up the monsters (including their "president") on their own "team".

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 hour ago

At this point I'm assuming that loads of them either want to be trans, want to have sex with a trans person, but they feel they can't do either because they were told it's evil

It's the same as the gay hating, any guy very visibly hating gays always ends up snorting cocaine from a gay escort dick.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 hours ago

It's a failure of empathy. People hate and/or fear what they don't understand.

They can't empathize with someone not feeling right in their own skin like that, so all their rationalizations for things like "why would they want to use that bathroom" end up stemming from what they have left, which is unsavory intent, making them threatening.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (3 children)

I'm going to be an apologist for conservatives for a sec, just for the sake of giving out my theory of mind of these people.

I think this all happens mostly due to the stress trans people are inadvertently causing their parents. When your kid comes out of the closet, this will happen to a parent regardless of how liberal-minded they are. Even if you have no problem with the concept, your kid being trans brings about new kinds of threat scenarios you never had to think about before. If you're a sensible, smart and handsome person like I truly fucking am, you can process it in a few years and come out as not being a 100% asshole towards the issue.

But if your reference group is republican church goers, there's a high probability that such a person just simply does not have the mental or social toolset to process it in any sensible way. They will construct a toxic viewpoint for this issue, strengthen it from outside sources and then start to spread that toxicity.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 points 26 minutes ago

If my kid was trans, the only stress it would cause is thinking about how much medical bills we might have.

But I don't have expectations for my kids that I'm imposing on them, so maybe I have less to process.

[–] T156@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

I think this all happens mostly due to the stress trans people are inadvertently causing their parents. When your kid comes out of the closet, this will happen to a parent regardless of how liberal-minded they are. Even if you have no problem with the concept, your kid being trans brings about new kinds of threat scenarios you never had to think about before. If you’re a sensible, smart and handsome person like I truly fucking am, you can process it in a few years and come out as not being a 100% asshole towards the issue.

I feel like it's more the opposite problem. For the parents, trans people are a vague boogeyman. They've never meant a trans person personally, and they're constantly told that trans people are just waiting to jump them in the bathroom, or at sports, or all sorts of other things, so they've never had to contend with someone they know being trans.

If it was simply stress or threat to the kid, it wouldn't really explain the reaction to disowning them, since most of those aren't about the treatment that their kids would receive for being trans.

I think you're close to the root of it. The need for a biological legacy is strong no matter any affiliations. Having "non-conforming" children threatens that legacy.

For the groups that inflate this drive, that's all there is. That's the only purpose. No "we as a species".

For the rest of us it might be a little disappointing at the prospect of no grandchildren. But we know that it's ultimately not our decision. And the same outcome could happen regardless of any "conformity".

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 44 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

I'm a southerner. Take what I'm about to tell you as close to the grain of the problem as possible, because it is.

Here's the thing. 9 times out of 10, a Southern man is going to meet a lone trans or gay person, have a pleasant experience talking to them and go about their day, they even make friends with the person, spend years talking to them, send gifts, become family members, etc.

But you know what?

Behind closed doors, it's "fuck those trannies", "not in my schools", etc. My mom does it, her sister does it, my dad did it. It's hypocrisy at an extreme level while also ignoring it at an extreme level.

"Well I have gay friends... I'm not homowhatzit"

THEY'RE TEACHING WHAT!?

"Double Standard" might as well be the tagline for the entire South. They'll protect their religion and the expectations put on them by their parents and social norms on a general level across the board, while still shaking hands and eating cake with their lgbtq+ buddies.

Just remember any southerner is one thought from God away from stabbing you in the back at all times, because no matter how close you get to them, even as a family member, that book and the expectations behind it means more, was beat into them more, every day since they were born until you met them.

[–] scsi@scribe.disroot.org 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Your favorite search engine -> "bless your heart meaning" and good luck navigating the waters.

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 1 points 2 hours ago

I thought this was pretty universally known in the US because I'm not from the US and never been further south than NYC when I did visit, but even I have seen it in some movie and immediately picked it up based on the tone and connect. I mean it was pretty much "he said something incredibly stupid" -> "oh bless his heart" between some southern grandmas

Might've been Big Mommas House, might've been something else entirely.

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Southerner here and I'll say you were right, up until your last paragraph.

Just remember any southerner is one thought from God away from stabbing you in the back at all times

This part however, is bullshit.

We're not all the same and that you would suggest so actually pisses me off. Replace the word "southerner" in that sentence with any other group of people and see if you still find it acceptable.

[–] nomous@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago

Fucking lol at hateful idiots stereotyping an entire geographic area. I'm sure in their minds it's completely different than stereotyping people because of their race/creed/gender/whatever.

[–] gerryflap@feddit.nl 10 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

They're conservative. The whole name is based on the principle that they want to maintain the old way rather than progress. I think it stems from fear of a changing world. The old world with the old rules provided safety, it was understandable, the rules were clear, and the rules didn't hurt them. Now some people are "attacking" their world, their rules, everything that offers them safety and understanding. So they feel attacked.

It's the same thing, but with another subject every time. Whether it is women getting rights, which threatens their safe world with clear gender roles. Or gay people, who threaten the simple rules like "boys love girls", "in order to be successful, get a job, marry, and get kids". Or non-white people getting rights. What if they vote for things that "we" don't want? What if "they" ruin the world that "we" got so used to.

Trans and especially non-binary people are just the next group in line that threatens their simple world. When men are people born as men and women are people born as women, it's way easier to force people into the traditional roles. The old rules still work, "boy marries girl, gets kids". And when they speak out about their "concerns* they are (rightfully) called out for it. So they become defensive and start doing whatever they're doing now.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 9 points 5 hours ago

Because of tropes like https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreepyCrossdresser from movies like Silence of the Lambs, Dressed to Kill, and Psycho. It puts the idea of men dressing like women as a means of tricking women to attack them into the collective unconscious.

Because Trump spent $19 million on transphobic ads during football games in battleground states. Because they need a Boogeyman to rile up their base.

It doesn't have to make sense. You might as well be asking how can the KKK hate people of color or how can Nazis hate Jewish people.

[–] lepinkainen@lemmy.world 21 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

Hating gays isn’t cool anymore and will get backlash even from conservatives.

Trans people are the new gays in this sense

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 4 hours ago

I figure racism will stick around long after transphobia is out of style.

Because no middle class white kid ever sat their parents down and said "mom, dad... I'm black"

[–] throbbing_banjo@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago

I would love for you to be right. If you're in the US, though, voter data doesn't seem to support that.

It would be amazing to live in a country where half the populace agreed that my son has the right to simply exist in peace but I don't think we do anymore.

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