this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
307 points (85.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26933 readers
4124 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 110 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not posting this was free.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

For everything else, there's MasterCard

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, try sliding your Mastercard into your urethra.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SeekPie@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

You do you)

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Using the wrong tool when a vagina can do that all day long with no effort whatsoever.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Hotel? Trivago

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 47 points 2 weeks ago

I sure miss 5 seconds ago when I haven't seen this post yet

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I remember when I learned what sounding is.

I fondly remember a time period before that.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

That was today for me So you all must suffer too

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

My condolences.

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Not ~~this~~ piss again

[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I too am a connoisseur of urinary tract infections. /s

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago

Actual strawman just dropped

[–] gmanlikescheese@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago
[–] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 22 points 2 weeks ago

What a terrible day to have eyes...

[–] HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

aight fellas, if you want to get into sounding, do not and i repeat do not just insert random objects down your pee hole.

buy a proper sounding kit, either smooth metal or silicone rods will do, and it is often recommended to also use sterile lubricant with them. remember to sterilize those rods too.

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 18 points 2 weeks ago

Speaking of which

GNzULcwakAI2v9A

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a marimba when you get to the bendy bit.

[–] pipows@lemmy.today 17 points 2 weeks ago

Sometimes I wish I have never learned this language

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 13 points 2 weeks ago

This ain't a shitpost. It's a pisspost.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Oh how I wish it made beautiful ~~cello~~ double bass sounds.

Instead my sounds exactly like I'm playing a soda cup with that plastic lid.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

What kind of straw? Bamboo, stainless steel, glass, silicon, sugarcane, paper, wheat, pasta, plastic, or maybe crazy straw?... I am curious.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

bamboo, maximise the splinters, ribed for his pleasure.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Don't forget that it's just as much about technique as it is about the instrument(s).

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That is a cello, it's Yo-yo Ma in the picture.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh, right, forgot about that dude.

I should also call my mom (unrelated to urethra music).
And yo mom (related to urethra music).

[–] LNRDrone@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

No, no no no no!

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

That's painful sounding

[–] MrMobius@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

Make me remember to gift you a catheter bag for Christmas. You'll see how great it is: a straw and diaper all in one!

[–] tlekiteki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Holleerrrrinnn

[–] Gestrid@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

Excuse me while I go bleach my eye holes.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Porn hub should start selling penis sound-pods. A flexible Bluetooth enabled rod that you stick in your penis to receive stimulation via musical sound waves translated into whatever waves are best received via your dick.

[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

New chess grandmaster strat just dropped

[–] MightyCuriosity@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Is that where the name comes from?