this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 95 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

1950s jello cake ass food crime. Wtf

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, I'd like one slice of the cake-ass please. No box, I'm gonna eat it here.

[–] BleakBluets@lemmy.world 76 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

I heard this in Dexter's voice.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Presented in the new fashion of choice: Derelicte.

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago
[–] misophonium@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 weeks ago

Babe, come get a slice of egg loaf before it gets cold!

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

As a child growing up in the foothills of Grenyarnia, life was a simple, bucolic idyll. Every day the sun would shine through my modest little window, and I'd wake to the gentle scent of the titan arums, as well as the somewhat more pungent, but equally welcome, aroma of the Svenborgian staff bringing me my breakfast.

Oh what a repast it always was! The earthy notes of the Organic sixième presse de pied grape juice! The ever-unexpected delights of caviar-infused macarons! And to top it all off, of course, was my favorite, the delightful egg dish! The name is a bit of a mouthful, Sot den Arschlächer et ass eng Omelette, but my family and I always just called them our beloved Arschloch Omelettes. I never quite took down the recipe, as our staff mysteriously disappeared one night, coincidentally along with some of the tableware and a few million kroner of what mummy and daddy called the loose change. C'est la vie! You will be missed, Griselda! Or was it Greta? Or Bob?

Still, through my years of studying the culinary arts, with literally hours spent every month living and breathing the finest recipes and influencers, I think I've come close. My life coach and herbalist both tell me they've never tasted anything like it. Please enjoy my most favorite thing, and maybe you'll become an Arschloch lover like me...

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

How do you nominate for comment of the year?

[–] ultrahamster64@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago
[–] TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago

They say anyone can cook. But that doesn't mean that anyone should cook.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Nothing a little smoked paprika can't fix.

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The only problem I have with this is if I eat this many eggs in one sitting I will be on bed for the next couple of days.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is obviously meant to be a cake. You shouldn't eat an entire cake.

In one sitting.

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 weeks ago

YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't even understand what I'm looking at.

[–] Imhotep@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

an omelett, but the eggs haven't been stirred

I find this incredibly funny, still laughing, yet I'm not sure why

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh, ok, I thought it was the various ingredients. I zoomed in and finally figured out it was merely different shots of the same thing.

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 weeks ago

I just keep imagining the faint outlines of the yolks and I burst into a fit of giggles.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

Just eggs cooked hard in a skillet.

[–] Xenny@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

That... Actually takes some skill to do

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

I just fucked up a french omelet and now i don't feel so bad about it

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 18 points 2 weeks ago

What a bold decision to put yolks in that egg white omelet.

[–] twig@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Weird thing to fuck but ok

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's not how that slang phrase works, and you know it!

[–] NormalPerson@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Please keep your distance for the next farty hours

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

is there supposed to be a problem with this?

[–] lefixxx@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Only of you insist it's an omelette

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What would you even call that mass? A hard-boiled dozen?

[–] oo1@lemmings.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

hard-boiled hexegg. It's better in German, hartgekoctsechsei.

edit - ignore me, I thoght it was a half dozen - add a doppel in there maybe.

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Cut it into cubes and stick them with toothpicks and you can lie and say it's a Barbarian hors d'oeuvre or some shit.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Germans would call this an Eierkuchen

[–] anyhow2503@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

It's only missing every ingredient except Eier.

[–] Astronauticaldb@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't that just poached eggs that have been jellified together?

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[–] atro_city@fedia.io 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That's called a tortilla, right?

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 6 points 2 weeks ago

Missing garlic, onion and patato, but pretty close to it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'd refund any tortillas if they were like this.

[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

This is .... poetry...

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 2 weeks ago

Gaston makes fried eggs.

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