this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 14 comments
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[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 44 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, and they could get vitamin supplements instead of sucking my blood.

I mean not MY blood, I never go out in the sun either but you get the idea.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I was about to say. Over the counter vitamin d is so cheap you can buy it at the freaking Dollar tree.

Why the fuck do I have to spend a third of my life growing new blood cells and healing neck wounds for these mighty bitey bastards?

It's not my fault they didn't put $1.27 into a savings account in 1820 and are now multi-millionaires that can afford the good shit.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You know, I never realized how much vampires could collect in compound interest over several lifetimes...

I feel like banks would try to cap & regulate the hell out of that.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Unless they OWN all the banks.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

...why does this feel like the part of the story just before the [REDACTED] show up?

[–] crowbar@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah but theyve been drinking natural blood for thousands of years, you cant just change that with artificial, store-bought pills!

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I like to pretend that my inability to tan and only get sunburned is because really I'm a vampire. Unfortunately being that pale does not seem to increase the amount of vitamin d your body produces in sunlight :/

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I too love sucking and need more D

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Username checks out.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Arghblarg@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Aaah! Begone hellspawn!

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] techfox@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Have they ever tried sucking down some Sunny D instead?