THE official MAN CARD π
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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And it's a bottle opener
Because nothing screams manly like alcoholism
TIL I'm actually manly
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So a real man let their choice dominated by another man?
Canβt stand any of these masculinity targeted products. Also donβt flush any product down the toilet other than toilet paper. Those wipes clog sewers.
Real MEN don't touch their buttholes, they use a bidet. Check out now biMAN, equipped with a power hose so no grime gets left behind.
According to my proctologist, we Americans are cruel to our butts with over-use of toilet paper.
Never wipe but dab. Use a bidet. Start with a travel bidet, which is $5-$20, and you can fill them with warm water. Rinse liberally and dab, repeat until clean.
Don't worry about manliness. Being nice to your hemorrhoids is the adult thing to do.
Dude, bidets and ass showers in combination with shaved butthole is a hygienic must for hairy folks.
Dingleberry cultivation is no involuntary hobby anyone should have.
Dingleberry farmer is now in my lexicon of insults
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I honestly can't tell if this website is being ironic
That's a very dumb name, but I really like the simple design and earth tone color of the bar itself.
On the other hand I don't think I'd like to smell like beer.
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Being a man is when you conform your freedom of choice to one of a few acceptable choices.
Expressing yourself, showing who you really, standing up to peer pressure is for pussies, you wouldn't want to risk people accidentally mistaking you with them sexually liberated folks by admitting you like electro-swing over country.
Letβs not forget that they probably donβt listen to much non-commercialized country and when they do the highly left-wing, union supporting, feelings having message probably goes right over their heads. I mean it has to, theyβd necessarily throw a fit if they knew what they were listening to.
As a guy, real masculinity is being comfortable with your gender and not becoming uncomfortable because someone else expresses theirs.
Guys, we're workers, and problem solvers. We're also so many more things like fathers, sons, brothers and friends. Masculinity as a concept is outdated. Adapt, overcome, persevere. That's all you need.
Anyone telling you that you're unmanly because you have, or don't have something, or because you do, or don't do something, is either a fool, or selling you something.
Be a man, ignore their bullshit.
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Don't forget your tactical Christmas stocking this holiday season! πͺ
The whole tactical-style-for-not-tactical-thing makes me rage. Not because it exists, but because it's been picked up by the wrong demographic.
That sort of thing should belong to the realm of the ironic, and be worn by the person who has a bad joke to go with it.
Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby, and not the fragile guy who needs a shield to defend his masculinity in the face of raising his children.
It's like so much of these things started as a gag, and then got picked up by people who aren't in on the joke.
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My birth certificate is proof enough that I'm a man. Now give me my strawberry Herbal Essences! πͺπ‘
Ohhhh YEEEEES...
classic rock, country, and blues
Metal is for sissies, I guess.
sigh I'll get the socks.
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I saw MAN CARD in the thumbnail and legitimately thought it said MAN CHILD and didnβt even question it.
Which would be so much funnier. Wanna fuck with me? A certified MAN CHILD?
They do the same exact thing in the pink aisle in the supermarket.
By making everything more so called feminine, and now more so called masculine, companies realized they can charge a premium and people will fall for the packaging gimmick.
Thatβs all I think it is.
I do like the man card bottle opener though. Would be a fun thing to bring to parties and holiday gatherings.
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βA manβs music collection should consist out of classic rock and country. β¦β¦ oh yeah and also blues. See we ainβt racist we added black musicβ
Lol bet they mean Eric βnon-whites should be deportedβ Clapton and not BB King.
A man's music collection should consist of classic rock, country and blues
Does this give anyone else boomer vibes? Also, I suspect this is trying to invoke the Progressive Rock of the 1970s (Kansas, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Supertramp, etc.) and not Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or, you know, Elvis, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones
But then my man card expired in the early 1990s.
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I only wipe my butt with sandpaper.
These dudes are so uptight about masculinity. They could really use a prostate massage.
Real men use a bidet anyway.
And not because it's objectively better than wipes. ;)
REAL MEN LICK THEY OWN ASS CLEAN
Society if men could lick their own assholes:
Nothing productive would be done all day.
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Well, some people say men are basically just dogs and I guess if some of us can lick our own assholes, that's further proof.
real men don't clean themselves at all so that their musk is always noticed by everyone in the room they're in
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How do people even find such a shop
They're the type of people who click on Facebook ads
Only classic rock, country, and blues are manly? I didn't know metal, rap, and military marches were for little girls
It's a slippery slope. I heard if you listen to too many sea shanties you will start aggressively lactating.
~Babe, wake up! New feminization technique just dropped~
Ska and punk are part of the woke trans agenda
Actually the woke and trans movements are emergences of what Ska and Punk was doing decades ago.
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Man card bottle opener
lol he has to use a special tool to open his bottles. Table edge is right there tough guy... or literally any hard object you can get about an inch of leverage with (so not your dick ayo), Belt buckle is possible, doesn't even have to be a special one. Keys, a dollar bill, lighter, principle doesn't change too much between them. Hell even your wedding ring... oh... awkward.
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