this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Star Wars Memes
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Hello there. Somehow, Star Wars memes have returned. It's not a trap, this is where the fun begins.
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They could have done the return with Snoke. But noo, we need to fuck up the long established canon by adding in old characters. We can't explain how they survived so let's say "somehow they did".
I didn't mind the idea of Snoke. A power vacuum means someone else moves in. He didn't even have to be the rumored Plagueis, just someone connected or whatever. Create a new lore that makes sense.
But then he just died. Not even in a fight, but through arrogant ignorance. He could see Kylo's thoughts before, but somehow missed that he was being played? Stupid writing. I'm actually still a fan of TFA, and will defend what it was trying to do, but the other two movies can rot.
I maintain that killing Snoke as a red herring could be fine, too. I find a tragically irredeemable Kylo Ren to be much more interesting than tall skinny emperor anyway. But even if one didn't like TLJ, TROS was almost the worst possible way to follow it up. It satisfied no one.
I was convinced that they were setting up Kylo as the big bad, I can't think of the last time Star Wars had a tragic, irredeemable villain. It could have worked really well.
I like what they were going for in TFA with kind of an inverse Luke Skywalker, where he was struggling with the "pull" to the Light, before fully committing himself by killing his Master in TLJ. Then whatever the fuck TROS was happened and none of that really worked anymore.
The return of Sidious was already just okay in the EU. To bring it in to the mainline sequels? Bruh. Where are my Yuuzhan Vong?
Extended universes always have some really bizzare power creep / weird situations happening. The authors need to one up each other and think of stupider stuff with every book.
Yeah, we went through that ocean of good and bad and they chose the bad parts.
Always found it crazy that of all the stories they could have taken inspiration from they chose one of the few that was panned on release
Did they not show a cloning facility that was constructing bodies for him? And have we not seen that force users consciousness survive after death? And wasn’t there a whole setup for his consciousness to be transferred into a new body through some dark side ritual? It wasn’t a great explanation but it was sufficient. I’m confused about why people think this was entirely left out. That one line of dialogue is bad but just because those characters don't have an explanation doesn’t mean we as the audience do not. We do!
The "somehow he returned" betrays bad writing. Palpatine returning invalidates movies 1 - 6, Anakin's redemption, Luke's journey. It invalidates "I am your father" completely because who cares that Vader is his father when ultimately he does jack shit by sacrificing himself to kill one of many Palpatine's bodies. Suddenly the story stops being Anakin is the chosen one, it starts being "let's do this again ahyuk"
And if that wasn't enough, they end what they call the Skywalker Saga with all Skywalkers dead and a Palpatine claiming their name and heritage.
Oh it’s a shitty story no doubt.
I’m just arguing against this notion that Palpatine was put back on the screen with zero explanation of how he returned from the dead.
It's been a while since I've seen it, but why was the body he was in all rotting and gross if he had freshly cloned bodies to use?
That’s a good question because the clone army based on Jango Fett shows that cloning tech is basically perfected in this universe. But the conditions were less than perfect in Palpatine’s case. Jango Fett was there in the facility, young and healthy and giving fresh blood samples daily. It’s not explicit but I took it that there was something special about him that made him ideal, too. Perhaps his genes were more compatible with cloning somehow. Palpatine was not such a specimen. He died unexpectedly, was already old, and they might have had to clone him from whatever they could find, like the smell of his farts on his throne cushion or whatever. Cloning is copying so source fidelity matters.
You'd think he would have kept some younger clones around, just in case. But then, he also was sure that Luke would join him and Anakin wouldn't betray him even though that's literally how the Sith work.
He wasn’t thinking ahead there was he. But then again in the Sith world, a clone of you would probably stab you in the back and replace you. The rule of 2 doesn’t allow clones ;D
Well, he sure broke that rule, then!
The attempt for more money has left me scarred and deformed...
Star Wars: The Search for More Money
Stargate the flamethrower!
Hey, he wasn't even cut in half before he was tossed into a reactor.
But was he angry?
I mean; those robes were itchy enough to make any one irritable
Actually in the ~~first~~ second wave of comics, Luke joins the dark side to locate and raze Palpatine's cloning factory. There's a deeply meaningful scene where Han and Leia retrieve him and have to convince him that he's redeemable after everything he did to fit in.
That was the second wave of comics. The first ones were the ones Marvel put out while the OT was still being made and which continued for a few years after RotJ.
Ooh thank you, I'll fix it
That's a cool idea, but my kneejerk reaction would be to fit in to find something else. Cloning takes away meaningfulness from killing Palpy-B
That's the point. It took their victory away from them, and would keep doing so.
The movies fell flat so hard because they didn't use it as a vehicle to explore anything, characterwise or emotionally. They missed the point and turned it into a plot speed bump.
I just think bringing in cloning is making Vader's sacrifice kinda bland
The prophecy of the Chosen One who would bring balance to the Force for a little while.
And we don't . . . ever
Until the prequels
Checkmate Star Wars fans
Yep only the prequels, definitely no sequels in Ba Sing Se
Cabbage
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This is why I'm confident that Han Solo is fine. Shaft's ain't shit.
He was also impaled by a lightsaber and his lifelong friend Chewy fought to the death immediately afterwards but its all a moot point since Ford hated playing him anyways.
Hey, he wasn't even cut in half.
Yeah but being cut in half increases your survival rate, statistically.
Darth Maul: cut in half, thrown down shaft, lived
Qui Gon Jin: Impaled, laid on floor, died
Don't forget:
Mace windu: tazed a bit and thrown out a window: dead
They really fucked up their villains. Snoke needed to be more then just some guy. Phasma could have been a great side villian and gave Finn something to do. Huxley was incredibly portrayed and really came off as a threat before they made him into a clown and killed him off just like they did Phasma. A b plot where the villains have a Game of Thrones style intrigue going on would have been rad.
But nope, going back to Palpatine.
I remember little about the prequels but for some reason I remember Darth Grevious dying by slipping on a banana peel. Consistant line of cool villains dying in stupid ways in star wars post 80s. Boba Fetts demise was silly I guess.