this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
446 points (98.9% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6608 readers
394 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 115 points 2 months ago (3 children)

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

RUSSIA JUST DEPLOYED THEIR STRONGEST, MOST CAPABALE WARRIOR TO KURSK ... Steven Seagal

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 56 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Even better picture of Seagal displaying his expert weapon handling skills

[–] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Needs to be the GIF of him going down a hallway switching from holding his rifle right-handed to left-handed when he changes his pointing direction

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

Ah well, we don't need a moving GIF to see this is the absolute pinnacle of manliness that Mother Russia has to offer.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you seen that man run fatly around corners? Majestic

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Like a bull elephant seal,the deadliest of seals.

[–] sinkingship@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you enjoy disliking Seagal, you might enjoy "Space Ice"'s movie reviews on YouTube .

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 103 points 2 months ago (4 children)

THE LEAKS CONTINUE

WE NOW HAVE VISUAL CONFIRMATION OF U.S. SPECIAL FORCES INVOLVEMENT IN KURSK

[–] Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I PITTY DA FOO WHO SIMPS FOR PUTIN

I love it when a plan comes together.

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

this WILL show up on russian tv where they claim americans are part of the 'invasion force'.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

AS IT SHOULD. THIS IS REAL NEWS. NOT FAKE NEWS. REAL. THIS NEWS IS CERTIFIED GLUTEN-FREE, CAGE-FREE, AND HAND-CRAFTED BY ARTISAN CRACKHEADS. WE'RE TALKING NON-GMO, LOCALLY SOURCED, ORGANIC CRACKHEADS.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

You forgot "artisanal" and "volunteer"

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Point of order: The A Team were convicted of a crime they did not commit, and escaped from a military stockade. This means they are not US forces, but, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

My sides are aching, laughter is great for the abs!

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 98 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hear me out!

The best these blokes ever came up with were their specials. So, we throw them off the Ukrainian battlefields with parachutes, where they each have to salvage a burnt out Russian armoured vehicle. Then they can show off how they personalised their tanks before the race starts. Whoever reaches Moscow first wins.

[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Which tank does each pick?

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Jeremy Clarkson, Challenger. Talks up the mk 3 but shows up with a mk 1 somehow. Maintains superiority of his tank because it has a tea kettle.

James May, Leopard. Gets the latest model, stands on it's smooth ride.

Richard Hammond, Abrams. Somehow shows up with upgraded engine, but less armor. Anything to make it go even faster.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And if any of them break down, they have to use a T-34.

[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'd watch the shit out of that special .

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James' tank and Hammond somehow flipping an Abrams.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James’ tank

James May: Cock!

[–] artemisRiverborne@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Tea kettle is so on point 😂

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one 12 points 2 months ago

Jeremy Clarkson rolls up in a BM 13 Katyusha with raised suspension. The license plate says ClarksonOrgel

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 72 points 2 months ago

UNCONFIRMED REPORTS THE NAVY SEAL HAS ALSO BEEN ACTIVATED

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago

Just make sure Clarkson doesn't get dinner. He'll beat up the entire Russian army single handedly.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

THREE SUSPECTS CAUGHT ON CCTV EXITING THE KURSK NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. DOES ANYONE HAVE MORE INFORMATION???

[–] palitu@aussie.zone 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Burn list? Damn that takes me back a few years

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Burn notice was fun. Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell) is the man.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

"CIA? Bunch of bitchy little girls." -Sam Axe capturing the hearts of the world

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Never seen it, but that shot is clearly an homage to reservoir dogs.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Putin has declared the man at center Publix enemy number one.

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wow looking at the small lad on the left they’re even using children.

[–] xep@fedia.io 17 points 2 months ago

Clarrrkksssooooonnnnnnn!!!!

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Clarkson you blithering moron!

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I didn't even notice I was on NCD when I first opened this...

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They don't look very elite.

[–] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

They are so elite that they lookcasual!

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Oh, they are. Look how serious their expressions are. It's always the unkempt, gormless looking one who turns out to be Head of Station or some secret shit.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

They're more dangerous than SAS, they're retired TGT.

[–] Pringles@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Looking for some of that black earth farm land for the next season of Clarkson's Farm.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Oh, how I wish.