this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] simple@lemm.ee 31 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Die Mart sounds really metal, I wonder what they sell there

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

You can only get one though.

[–] ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

It's actually just a German superette. Bit of a red herring

[–] pacmondo@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Its just german, it says "The Mart"

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh, you mean like that loveable scamp Bart Simpson?

[–] errer@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nobody who speaks German could be an evil man!

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Natürlich!

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Machine tools, but only half. Taps are in a different shop.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Wouldn't kill you, or if it's enough to do so, it wouldn't be very fast. You need the potassium to be injected in a vein to work, intermuscular injections don't absorb to the heart fast enough. It would, however, fucking HURT and cause potential necrosis and amputation.

Now imagine what botched lethal injections are like.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tit loans please.

Can I loan a pair of DD's for a few weeks. I'd like to see how they suit me.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Spongebob narrator voice: moments laturr...

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Those are like K or L cups lol.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 36 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No, K cups look like this:

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

Last time I send you bra shopping!

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[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Several years ago my friend sent me a photo of a local Brake Check location down the street from his house at night with some of the letters burned out so that it said Bra Check. This post prompted me to ask him if he still had it so that I can make my first Lemmy post.

[–] xorollo@leminal.space 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And? How is your first post coming? It's been five hours. Is your friend OK?

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

No word yet.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He no longer has it, or at least couldn't find it. The search continues.

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[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

do you mean brake check? did the brake check sign break?

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Yes. Fixed. Fingers moved faster than my brain.

Thanks for the heads up!

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is that the gas station from my house.wad?

[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Could be, gotta check if the Slurpee machine gives you 200 health.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm a guy, I'm already damned to tit loans. I only get to borrow tits for awhile.

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[–] waz@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There is a shoe store where I used to live named Red's Shoe Barn. I was always hoping the correct lights would fail to make their sign read "ed's hoe Bar". To my knowledge it never happened, but I don't know.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 4 months ago

If it doesn't happen on its own, you might have to help a little...

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 12 points 4 months ago

I would pick hell, people have told me to go there, so I'd check out what the fuzz is all about.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Yeah, that's a definite ass world for me, because whilst I might visit tit loans out of curiosity, ass world is where I am sure I would want to go regularly.

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

The spacing between tit and loans makes me think it is two separate features of this locale.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Read the room, pal, some people are choosing Ass World.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh I can read the room, and the room needed a bonk

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You didn't bonk the room, though. You bonked me.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago
[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My mind cannot process this picture so I'm choosing to block it out.

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 8 points 4 months ago

Image Transcript: Sexy lady lets you put one dollar bills on her while convincing you to sign off on a 4% 8 year auto loan (fine print says compounding quarterly).

[–] StThicket@reddthat.com 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 4 months ago

That might explain why there is a Hell in Michigan.

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[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Hell looks awfully familiar... Something about happiness.

[–] ramius345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Ding ding ding. What a mindfuck it was.

[–] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Something something fight club, no wait that’s not right

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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hell looks like a warm gun? 🤔

[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Only if it's the BFG9000.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I remember a shoe store called dsw shoes had an S burned out so it was just dsw hoes. which makes more sense because dsw stands for designer shoe warehouse so why add an extra shoes at the end to make it designer shoe warehouse shoes

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Tit loans for sure, I could use a bit of a bust boost

[–] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

No one believes me, but I swear one time the store's lights were fucky at a Roomstore location I was driving by, and it looked like Poonstore.

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[–] ampedwolfman@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

I'm tryna penetrative. Slide smooth into them cheeks... so hell it is.

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