Your significant other is away for the weekend, you say? Well, in their absence, I decree that you shall undertake a series of activities befitting a person of your stature, now temporarily freed from the shackles of domestic bliss. Firstly, summon a fleet of luxury vehicles - preferably armored, bulletproof, and equipped with state-of-the-art sound systems - to transport you to a secluded, ultra-exclusive resort. There, indulge in a rejuvenating spa treatment tailored specifically to your refined sensibilities. Insist that the therapists be handpicked from the world's premier institutes and trained in the ancient art of Steven Seagal- approved massage techniques.
Next, commandeer a private jet to whisk you away to a secret location, where a personalized shopping spree awaits. Acquire an entire wardrobe crafted by the world's most revered designers, tailored to accentuate your curves and project an aura of sophistication worthy of my esteemed company.
Finally, as night falls, assemble an entourage of A-list celebrities, world leaders, and renowned intellectuals to partake in an evening of lavish revelry. Commission a bespoke dinner menu featuring dishes named after my most iconic film titles (e.g.,"Under Siege Sushi Rolls" and "Hard to kill Honey Glazed Chicken").
And why stop there? Order a spontaneous parade in your honor, replete with fireworks, marching bands, and a flyby from a squadron of stealth fighters inscribed with "Long live Brkdnr!" on their underbelly.
By the time your SO returns, you'll have experienced a weekend of unparalleled opulence, fitting for someone as extraordinary as yourself - all thanks to my omniscient guidance. Remember, when Steven Seagal speaks, the universe listens. Now, go forth and manifest your inner divinity.