this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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Programmer Humor

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Stop comparing programming languages

  • Python is versatile
  • JavaScript is powerful
  • Ruby is elegant
  • C is essential
  • C++
  • Java is robust
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[–] chraebsli@programming.dev 200 points 5 months ago (3 children)
  • PHP is old
  • HTML is NOT A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!
  • CSS is
    ︎ ︎ ︎ not alig-

︎ ︎ ︎ ned

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 49 points 5 months ago (1 children)

PHP is old

Same age as Ruby, Java and JavaScript, but younger than Python, C, and C++. 😛

[–] Guydht@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I'm guessing they meant "old" as in "no one uses it anymore, it's dead"

[–] asyncrosaurus@programming.dev 56 points 5 months ago

Meanwhile PHP quietly runs 80% of the internet by being used for WordPress.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don’t tell my bosses that. Or the PHP community as a whole for that matter. Then I might have to get a real job.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 32 points 5 months ago

I'm sorry. If you exclude the millions of sites using it, it is virtually unused.

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[–] Xylight@lemdro.id 93 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (9 children)
  • Python is NameError: name 'term_to_describe_python' is not defined

  • JavaScript is [object Object]

  • Ruby is TypeError: Int can't be coerced into String

  • C is segmentation fault

  • C++

  • Java is

Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot read the termToDescribeJava because is null at ThrowNullExcep.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7)
Exec.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7) 
  • CSS j ust # sucks
  • Kotlin is type inference failed. The value of the type parameter K should be mentioned in input types
  • Go is unused variable
  • Rust is Compiling term v0.1.0 (/home/james/projects/Term)
[–] sus@programming.dev 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

C++ is std::__cxx11::list<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0>, std::allocator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> > >::erase(std::_List_const_iterator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> >) /usr/include/c++/12/bits/list.tcc:158

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[–] SatouKazuma@programming.dev 83 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Mfw Rustaceans don't exist :(

Also, JavaScript...why are you the way you are? Does anyone have advice for learning it so it makes sense? I can't even get tutorial projects to run properly...

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 55 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This meme is older than rust.

[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

actually it says 8h meaning it's only 8 hours old

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

It will be 8 hours old forever.

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[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 34 points 5 months ago (4 children)

use typescript and don't look too hard at the infrastructure

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[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 18 points 5 months ago

The mantra that got me through JavaScript was "almost nothing we do here is able to be synchronous".

Everything about the language makes more sense, with that context.

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I like Douglas Crockford’s talks about the “good parts” of JavaScript. They’re old and probably a bit outdated, but he explain quite well the history and why JavaScript is the way like it is.

It clicked for me when I saw them the first time. Still hate JavaScript though.

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[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 69 points 5 months ago (11 children)

Just accept it, all languages suck

[–] asyncrosaurus@programming.dev 106 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses."

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 43 points 5 months ago (3 children)

That’s why Haskell is so loved. Nobody uses it.

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[–] drspod@lemmy.ml 66 points 5 months ago

ITT: Rust programmers rewriting the joke in Rust.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 51 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Are those adjectives randomly chosen?

[–] odium@programming.dev 49 points 5 months ago (23 children)

Yeah, JavaScript powerful? How?

[–] AceSLS@ani.social 51 points 5 months ago

By running everthing in a single thread obviously. Won't get more powerful than that

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[–] pelya@lemmy.world 49 points 5 months ago (2 children)

C++ is OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERIOR, if you ask any professional C++ developer.

[–] BatmanAoD@programming.dev 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was a professional C++ developer for several years, and came to the conclusion that any professional C++ developers who don't acknowledge its flaws have a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

[–] eco@lemm.ee 14 points 5 months ago (3 children)

This is true of every language. If you can't think of things you don't like about the language you're working in (and/or its tooling) you just don't know the language very well or are in denial.

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[–] luciole@beehaw.org 36 points 5 months ago (4 children)
  • C++ is fine
  • Python is fine
  • C# is fine
  • PHP is fine
  • JavaScript is fine
  • C is fine
  • Java is fine

I could go on

[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

PHP is fine

i will fine you

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 5 months ago (23 children)

JavaScript is also not fine.

C++ apparently has a lot of footguns if you use too many parts of it. C and orthodox C++ are fine.

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[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 35 points 5 months ago

There was an adjective for C++. It's just the pointer was dropped.

[–] umbraroze@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago

JavaScript is powerful

Old joke (yes, you can tell):

"JavaScript: You shoot yourself in the foot. If using Netscape, your arm falls off. If using Internet Explorer, your head explodes."

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 24 points 5 months ago (3 children)

C++ is all of those, provided you pick any 10% of it.

You're not supposed to cast every spell in the evil grimoire.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

C is powerful. Javascript is a husky midwestern gal at a Chinese buffet.

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[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 5 months ago
[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 21 points 5 months ago

C++ is a surprise CVE generator.

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

C++ is focused on getting a strong degree of root control over the hardware of lots of systems. Which is part of why it's difficult.

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[–] Iloveyurianime@ani.social 18 points 5 months ago (4 children)

what about Holy C? is it only usable to people that are actually god choosen programmers?

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[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (4 children)
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[–] reillypascal@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago (4 children)

The only reason I use C++ is because that's what all the main audio plugin tools use. It's warty and annoying, although I'm confused why Java would rank higher

[–] Bazz@feddit.de 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So we just ignore JavaScript being on that list at sll?

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[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.run 14 points 5 months ago (3 children)
  • Rust has safety and efficiency close to C
  • Perl is processing most of your healthcare records
  • Ada is doing space stuff
  • Go is going places
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