Why is a "conservative cell carrier" even a thing…that has to exist… or exists… nah you know I don't actually wanna know…
this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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Because religious conservatives are the easiest people to grift. Slap the word god or Jesus on something and they'll flock to it.
Just look at their description. “America’s only Christian conservative wireless provider and our mission is to passionately defend our God-given Constitutional rights and freedoms while glorifying God.”
Cell phone providers and cell service has literally nothing to do with religion or defending rights and freedoms yet they throw that shit in because Christian conservatives are morons and it will get them to buy.
Chances are the creator of the company isn't even religious at all.
This must be that virtue signaling that I keep hearing the right whine about.
This shit is so funny to me. The side of the political aisle that speaks entirely with memes and wears bright red hats to identify one another thinks the left is virtue signalling every time they step foot in public because of a rainbow pin or something.
Kinda like how they won't leave home without their guns, but accuse the left of "living life in fear" because we wore masks in public during the Pandemic.
I think hypocrisy is an official party platform at this point.
The biggest irony is, even as PM claims that none of their money goes to "woke", PM is a MVNO, which means it merely resells services from a "woke" big mobile company (I think it's T-Mobile in this case). So indirectly PM funnels money to T-Mobile, which then might donate some money to "woke" non-profits.
They're not even a 'carrier', per se - just an MVNO reselling ATT and TMO. So a large chunk of the money goes back to the real carriers, i.e., the companies that conservatives are overpaying to avoid supporting.
Fuck me conservatives are so... I wanna say dumb but that just doesn't quite hit the mark, hmmmm how about "brother fucking sister stupid" yeah that works
If a left wing cell carrier tried to enter the market everyone would be like..tf? No. But conservatives are another breed and by that I mean inbred
Cause anyone and anything that is branded as a conservative and is selling a product/service will make a killing on money because of how delusional and dumb the average conservative is.
Every once in awhile it crosses my mind that if I just gave up my morals I could make so much fucking money.
The difference between me being a middle-class American and me being filthy fucking rich is every day I wake up and I choose not to defraud every single person I possibly can of their money.
I feel like I should get a little thank you now and again, because I could be the greatest monster you've ever seen but instead I'm just a nobody and I don't think I get nearly enough appreciation for my service.
I see nothing wrong with defrauding conservatives. They're gonna find some grifter to give their money to, so it may as well be you.
"... wait'll they get a load of ~~me~~ you." - The Joker - 1989
I wonder if this would work in the opposite direction as well. By the rule of averages, there should be plenty of dumb to go around regardless of party affiliation.
There's a whole branch of capitalism dedicated to selling inferior products at terrible prices to conservatives who are terrified of wokeness.
Ooo im gonna give it a guess and its because its meant for people who conserve mobile data. Lmk if im right xoxo
Its a gimmick to sell phones.
You know how the Nazis wanted to publish The Lord of the Rings in Germany but had to write Tolkien first to ask if he was jewish? Or that they're nuclear weapons program was slow because they had to make sure it was white guys who did the science?
It's that mentality.
The funnier thing is, there aren't any "Patriot Mobile" cell towers or data centers, basically they're a racism-themed Cricket Mobile or TracFone, where they rent bandwidth from one of the big three (AT&T, Verizon or T-Mobile these days if I understand correctly) but they're their own retail/customer service setup.
Marketing
"America’s only Christian conservative wireless provider and our mission is to passionately defend our God-given Constitutional rights and freedoms while glorifying God."
How are they making this mission? Do they block sites? Or it's just a way to scam people with shitty services and high price? Both?
We have something similar here, they just scam but not block
IDK, but as a Christian who is passionate about both my Constitutional rights and glorifying God, I'm not touching this service with a 10' pole. In fact, I actively avoid any service where religion is mixed into the advertising, it's manipulative and gross. In fact, I think it goes against what Jesus taught:
Take heed to your alms, that you do not give in the sight of men with the intent to be seen by them, or you will receive no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
- Matthew 6:1
Yeah, this isn't quite the same, but the point seems to be to not make a big spectacle of being devout, but to be humble and keep your attention on God, not on others seeing your attention on God.
And then there's the "give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and give unto God that which is God's." I don't think a God wants a mobile carrier, he wants charitable, humble hearts.
So no, screw this service and anyone who thinks this is a good idea. If you provide a service, provide the best service you can. If you buy a service, buy a service that meets your needs the best. And if you want to worship God, do it in private, and don't shout your piety from the rooftops.
Based Christians be out there 🥲
There are more than you might think, just not the loud ones that give everyone else a bad name.
Edit: Note that this is true for almost every group. The stereotypes from people outside the group will almost always represent the worst of that group, because humans have a tendency to overemphasize and overrepresent negativity.
A completely benign example: convincing my friend to watch Doctor Who was difficult because his perception of the fan base was that they were obnoxious and obsessed with how hot David Tennant is. Which…I mean, look at the man. But also, no, the loudest part of the fan base isn’t representative of the show.
My ex is a hardened Christian in as far as her relationship with god and moral guidance but wasn't one to judge.
Not watch Dr who but I will agree David Tennant is aw-lala, if I was to swing that way that is..
God-given Constitutional rights and freedoms
They're trying to co-opt the US Constitution as a religious text.
I don't agree with these religious nuts but, in this case, I don't think they're completely off base regarding "God given rights". The Declaration of Independence (not the Constitution) says:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
I wish the Declaration didn't include "by their Creator" but it does.
I was created by my parents
The Declaration of Independence was written by Thomas Jefferson, a deist, who also produced the Jefferson Bible, created by literally cutting out all the mystical woo from the New Testament and pasting the remainder onto pages.
I can say with some confidence that nobody considered either the Declaration or Constitution as "religious" at the time.
Just like their name, it’s just a slogan. They wrap themselves in flags and bibles and folks fall for it every time.
same deal with the far-right alternatives to aarp. just scamming money from america's most gullible.
It's just buzz words for morons so they buy their product. It literally means nothing at all.
They put a Jesus Fish in the corner of all their ads, obviously. What more do you expect?
So, antivaxxers got hit with a virus?
Took ivermectin, still got a worm
Incoming DMs from totally real babes asking thirsty incels for credit card numbers.
So a terrorist cell carrier?
"Thank you for calling FASH-Mobile, how may I direct your call?"
“I want to talk to Der Führer’s manager!”
I can see that they really aren't hiring the best.
Just the best that they could get
MVNO hacked. End title.
Whose towers do they use? Probably VZ, ATT, or TMo. Who all recently also got breached.
MVNO with specific focus on issues irrelevant to security
Probably like most MVNOs I suppose
Yeah, my carrier is an MVNO with very low prices, so I think there's a good chance their security is just as crappy as this service.
Do Patriots carry conservative cells ? /title headlines are often difficult to read for me 😋
((conservative (cell carrier (Patriot Mobile))) hit by data breach)